Hack went to a strip club one night and passed out. when he awoke days later in the alley behind the club, this manuscript was lying next to him.
The Pole Dancer
Category: Adult Content
Nude Hula-Hooping
Hack saw a story on his local news about this teenage “trend” and he was shocked at repercussions to society, so he spent the next month hanging out in parks and playgrounds hula-hooping in the buff to research this book. It was only after its publication (and he had been put on the national register of sex offenders) that he realized that nobody was doing nude hula-hooping and that the station televised articles on similar made up “teenage trends” about once a week to scare paranoid parents into watching.
The Mystery of the Nude Vlogger
Hack wrote this after seeing his friend Rosanna De Candia in the Zoom vlogcast “Why the Show Must Go On” from the Mental Health Association in New Jersey. Ms. De Candia was interviewed about using creativity to get through the isolation of the Coronavirus quarantine, and provided moving insight into the issues many people were struggling with. Hack’s byline is misleading because Ms. De Candia was obviously fully-clothed throughout but he was heavily drunk while watching and convinced himself that she was completely nude. He experiences the same phenomenon while watching old episodes of “Friends” on TBS, which is why he watches old episodes of “Friends” on TBS .
The Pervs of Skid Row
This was a “memory piece” from Hack’s teenage years when he and a girlfriend would taunt the bums in New York’s Bowery district by shamelessly making out in front of them. The bums finally had enough and surrounded the pair, let the girl go but made Hack stay and French kiss every one of them until he’d learned his lesson. They were surprised when he showed up for the next three weeks in a row for more lessons.
Nude Fury
Hack’s friend Rosanna De Candia was outraged when she saw the cover of “Junior Ranger and the Essential Workers” and realized that she had been depicted as a doctor wearing scrubs, since she only tolerated being pictured on Hack’s book covers if she was shown in the scantiest of attire. Hack quickly wrote this follow-up in which a character based upon Ms. De Candia is naked throughout the entire story to make it up to her.
Simon Says
Hack wrote this after going to a bar with his friend Glenn Simon to meet women and Simon took off with one early in the evening. He wound up marrying the young lady while Hack spent the night washing glasses because he rang up a $400 bar tab and his credit card was declined.
Blonde on the Run
The Sex Robot
Hack wrote this when a female friend told him via Zoom that she was getting through the isolation of the Coronavirus quarantine by having sex with a dress mannequin that she had strapped a cucumber to. When Hack offered to come over and provide the service himself, she turned him down saying that she would find it too degrading.
Jonny’s Women
The all-true story of Hack’s cover artist Jonny M’s interactions with the fairer sex. This is one of Hack’s most accurate ventures into the field of historical fiction.
The cover art of its first edition printing met with universal mockery from the women who were depicted in it, so Hack insisted that a new cover be created for its 2024 reprint. It’s a far more accurate depiction of Jonny’s relationship with the ladies.
Her Motive Was Lust
A gorgeous woman appears to have murdered her gorgeous roommate and hires her ex-lover Detective Jonny to solve the case. It turns out that the roommate faked her own death and the pair pinned it on Jonny, who gets as far as having the noose placed over his head on the gallows when Hack suddenly lost interest in the story and spent the last twenty pages railing against his abusive father.