Hack used to have brunch with a degenerate who inspired his novel “The Contiguous Man.” One Sunday, the guy started rhapsodizing about how this style of bathing suit made him irresistible to women, which intrigued Hack enough to sit down and crap out this book on the subject. A week later, Hack and his friend hit the beach in the titular swimwear and they were both fined $1,000 for all the vomit they induced from the beachgoers who saw them.

Return of the Slut

This sequel picks up where “The Slut” left off. Strangely, the title character is constantly giving men syphilis without suffering from the illness herself. When pressed about that detail, Hack testily warns you not to challenge him because he is one of the recognized greatest experts on the disease in the world. This despite that fact that he doesn’t spell it correctly anywhere in the book, including the cover.


Hack was still trying to suck up to the disciples of his cover artist Jonny M.’s late pug Winston with this volume, which had Winston coming back from doggie heaven to make his master sexually irresistible to the ladies. The Winstonites, who castrated themselves to be more like their neutered leader, were unimpressed but Jonny M. himself thought it ranked among Hack’s best books.

Farm Stud

Hack based this novel on his friend Eddie Frierson, who hails from Tennessee. For years, Frierson pretended to be illiterate to avoid having to read any of Hack’s books. The rouse was almost discovered when Hack learned that Frierson was actually a graduate of UCLA but when he found out that it was on a sports scholarship, Frierson’s inability to read seemed more plausible than ever.