Hack was inspired to write this book when his cover artist Jonny M. joined his outdoorsy brother Joe on hike and Jonny had to be air-lifted to a hospital after twenty minutes.
Junior Ranger and the Caves of Mount Hollywood
Category: Junior Ranger
Junior Ranger and the Sick Warriors of Lu Mountain
The Junior Ranger franchise came roaring back to its previous popularity where Ranger Joe is captured by a race of female “Stick Warriors” who anally violate him with their sticks.
Junior Ranger and the Gorillas of Griffith Park
After the failure of “Junior Ranger and the Heart of Darkness,” the popularity of the Junior Ranger books seemed to be waning. In a bold move, publisher John Kane made a deal with cover artist Jonny M.’s pug Winston to appear as a character in an attempt to give the series a shot in the arm.Hack was bitter about the move because he hated Winston but his contract with Kane gave him no choice, so he wrote the book as ordered. It restored the Junior Ranger books’s readership as hoped, but Hack was livid when he learned that Winston’s contract mandated that the pug make far more money from the publication than Hack did.
Junior Ranger and the Heart of Darkness
This is the book that nearly sank the series when Ranger Joe became so obsessed with following the rules in the manual that readers found him to be a spineless pussy and sales tanked. Hack learned hid lesson and future installments found Joe not only to be more quick-thinking and improvisational, but open to sexual experiments of all kinds with women, men and especially the animals of the parks he protected.
Junior Ranger and the Rebel Women
Hack started pushing the envelope in the Junior Ranger saga with this entry, which contained almost none of the outdoorsy adventure found in the early books and focused on hardcore graphic sex. Publisher John Kane was worried that it would alienate the readership so he insisted that Hack add a subplot about a butterfly collector lost in the park. Hack obliged, but had the Lepidopterologist kidnapped by a gang of roving hippie chicks and savagely raped.
Junior Ranger and the Holiday from Hell
Hack indulged himself on this book by bringing his well-known hatred of Santa Claus into the narrative. When Saint Nick crash-lands in the park, Ranger Joe takes over for him and finds the job so easy that he is appalled at how overrated a figure Santa is. So when he finishes the task and returns to the park, Joe summons an angry gorilla who owes Joe a favor to tear Santa limb from limb and then feast on his flesh..
It did not become the holiday perennial that publisher John Kane hoped for.
Junior Ranger and the Skateboard of Doom
When his cover artist Jonny M.’s brother Joe, the basis for the Junior Ranger books, got struck by a skateboarder and his ability to take part in a hike he wanted to go on was endangered, Joe made such a fuss about it that Hack wrote this book to mock him. When it was published, it turned out that there were countless thousands of outdoorsmen who had endured similar injuries so that rather than becoming a laughingstock, Joe was lauded as a folk hero. Hack, by contrast, was widely mocked for his terrible writing.
Junior Ranger and the Barbarians of Griffith Park
When Hack’s cover artist Jonny M.’ brother Joe (upon whom the Ranger Joe character is based) read this novel, he said that “it was the only Junior Ranger book which accurately portrayed the Junior Ranger experience.”
Junior Ranger and the Killer Kangaroos of the Outback
Disappointed with the reception to “Junior Ranger and the Hellish Hyenas of Togario Alpine Crossing,” Hack decided o take another stab at a Junior Ranger book about Bro Joe’s Australia/New Zealand adventure. He refused to learn from his earlier mistake and didn’t do any research about the countries as all, but his core readership loved the man-eating marsupials of the title and his depiction of anal sex by the aborigines (who, according to the book, “all looked exactly like Halle Berry.”)
Junior Ranger and the Hellish Hyenas of Togario Alpine Crossing
When Bro Joe took a trip to Austrailia and New Zealand, Hack cranked out a Junior Ranger book about it without bothering to consult with Joe about what the countries were like. The Tolucan Times wrote “the only thing that can be learned about either nation from this book is that its inhabitants really like anal sex.”