The website of the greatest pulp fiction writer who ever lived
Hack has written so many books about virgins being coerced into having their cherries popped by low-lifes who were very into anal sex that it’s pretty hard to tell one apart from another. But this is one of the better ones because of its subplot about space aliens trying to blow up Earth, if you don’t mind getting through all the anal sex stuff to read it.
Two smokin’ hot women battle it out for the love of a Hack Werker-like pulp fiction writer. The Tolucan Times said in its review “the ‘winner’ was actually the loser because she wound up with Hack Werker. The ‘loser’ wound up suffering a horrible, painful death; which, when you consider her alternative, really wasn’t that bad.”
Since Hack has lived in a van parked in a Shakey’s parking lot for over fifty years, it may surprise you to learn that he once seriously considered buying a houseboat, finding a woman and sailing off into oblivion. But since every woman he asked said she’d rather jump into shark-infested waters than live on a boat with him and the bank he tried to finance the boat through told him that he’d need a lot more assets than the $267.15 he had in savings to qualify for a loan, he just wrote this book instead. It tanked.
An account executive at a major advertising firm hires a secretary for her excellent typing and stenographic skills but ultimately comes to rely on her primarily for her enthusiasm for anal sex. Typical Hack Werker fare.
One night Hack stopped by a hole-in-the-wall tavern and quickly realized that it was a gay bar. This is the story of that night.
This is based on yet another of Hack’s revenge scams that backfired on him. He made a list of everyone who had wronged him and then made a plan to have sex with all of them only to watch their horrified faces the next morning after they realized what they’d done. But the first person that he tried it with passed along a rare STD that caused his penis to shrink to microscopic size, where it remains to this day.
Hack had an intense crush on MSNBC news commentator Rachel Maddow and wrote the novel about her. In real life, Ms. Maddow is a happily married lesbian but Hack depicted her in the book as a heterosexual nymphomaniac who made a sex slave of a Hack Werker-like writer of pulp fiction and was obsessed with anal sex. But for those details, it was pretty true to life.
Hack’s take on women in prison. Butt Lust Magazine called it “inarguably the finest novel ever written.”
In this second (and last) installment of the Lord Butt Stuffington saga, the pilot is taken captive behind enemy lines and subjected to BDSM torture by a Nazi dominatrix. When Allied soldiers show up to liberate him, he tells the to get lost.