Category: Cars

The Pug was in the Driver’s Seat

Hack wrote this after he took his van to get gas with his cover artist Jonny M.’s pug as a passenger. While he was filling up, he attempted to hit on a gorgeous woman at the next pump but she was only interested in playing with Boris. Hack tried to make Boris walk home after that but the gorgeous woman gave him a lift and no one knows what happened after that.

The Salesman was a Lesbian

After Hack got out of the hospital following the beating his friend Sara gave him for writing “The Car Salesman,” he heard news that she had a much better experience with a female salesperson who Sara learned was a lesbian. Hack wrote this book about the experience which his publisher John Kane was expecting to be a salacious romp full of girl-on-girl sex. But Hack surprised him with this family-friendly tale of a happily married lesbian with two adopted children who sells a good car to a woman at a fair price.

It was not well-received by Hack’s core readership, but at least he didn’t suffer any broken bones for it.

The Car Salesman

When Hack’s friend Sara was still in the process of finding a new car to buy (as described in “The Car Max Killers”) she complained to Hack that every car salesman she encountered was more interested in hitting on her than selling her a car. That was all Hack needed to hear so he knocked out this sequel where every salesman got their wish.

After Sara read it, Hack spent the next two weeks in the hospital.

The Car Max Killers

Hack’s pal Sara was having a rough time finding a car to buy and when she told Hack about a nightmarish experience she had at a Carmax dealership, he knocked out this fanciful murder mystery based loosely on her trial in which a Hack Werker-like pulp fiction writer is the killer. Unfortunately, Hack got high of reefer shortly afterward and got so disoriented that he thought the story was true, so he turned himself over to the police. It all got straightened out but not before Hack was raped in the county jail.