This is a boiler plate murder mystery that hack cranked out because he wanted to write something with a character who had a pencil-thin mustache.
Too Many Suspects
Category: Cadaver
The Client was Friendless
Hack wrote this while he was watching the finale of the TV show “Friends.” When he got bored halfway through, it devolved into a description of sexual fantasies he had with some of his middle school teachers. It was a smash hit in Arkansas.
Angel of Death
This was the last in Hack’s series of book about the brutal murder of his cover artist Jonny M. after a public outcry that he knock it the fuck off. He hasn’t published a book on that theme since but he continues to write them for therapeutic reasons.
A Death Worse Than Fate
Still another in Hack’s series about the murder of his cover artist Jonny M. It does have a great title.
Victimless Crime
Hack tried to combine two of his favorite fantasies: his cover artist Jonny M. being murdered and playing with his friend Harmony Sanchez’ enormous pair of boobs. When Sanchez (who is also a good friend of Jonny) read the book, she was so angry that she beat Hack’s ass with a belt, so at least he got to live out a third fantasy.
Murder By Jury
Hack enjoyed his series on the murder of his cover artist Jonny M. so much that he continued it despite receiving death threats from Jonny’s legions of admirers. This one’s an Agatha Christie rip-off where Jonny is killed at a party and the guests have to act as detective to figure out who did it. We’d tell you who the murderer is except that Hack (as usual) lost focus so the last twenty-five pages are an angry rant against his abusive father so he never reveals who the murderer is.
Justifiable Homicide
Hack so enjoyed writing “A Perfect Crime” in which his cover artist Jonny M. is murdered by his female models that he did a male version. As with the first book, Jonny is such a beloved figure that sales were terrible. Even so, Hack maintains that this was one of his favorite books to write.
The Perfect Crime
Hack has made no secret about openly despising his cover artist Jonny M., largely because he’s consumed with jealousy over Jonny’s easy way with women. When he heard that Jonny almost always had sex with his female models after completing a cover, Hack wrote this angry novel in which the models band together to murder Jonny. It backfired on Hack because the book tanked and the models were all so angry at how they were depicted in it that they sought solace in Jonny’s bed.
The Client was a Corpse
This was the first of Hack’s hugely successful “The Client Was A…” mystery series. A beautiful heiress is found murdered until she shows up at a detective’s office asking him to solve the crime, even through she has nothing to pay him with but anal sex. The exciting climax at the top of “the big Jesus statue in Brazil” is considered one of Hack’s most famous sequences.
Return of the Cat Lady of Death
This was Hack’s second book in his “Cat Lady” trilogy, based on a hot lady with cats who used to have lunch in the Shakey’s where he works. Their date which inspired the first book was a disaster but Hack developed an infection in the scars where her cats attacked him so he penned this sequel.