The website of the greatest pulp fiction writer who ever lived
Hack was watching the Kamala Harris/Donald Trump debate last night and nodded off just as Trump was stating his asinine lie that Haitian immigrants in Ohio were stealing dogs and cats so that they could eat them. Hack awoke in a pool of his own vomit a few hours later with this manuscript lying beside him. Surprisingly, it’s more plausible than anything Trump said in the debate.
Happy National Hot Dog Day!
Happy World Beard Day!
Happy National Read a Book Day!
Happy heavenly birthday to the great Bob Newhart/National Shrink Day (which takes place on September 5th because it’s Bob Newhart’s birthday). As someone who was in therapy for seven years, I encourage you to seek out help if you feel that you need it. It can be life-changing in a very positive way!
When Hack’s cover artist Jonny M. was having a conversation with his friend, black standup comedian Dévyan DuMon, Dévyan went into a comic riff on racial matters and kept giving Jonny openings to join in. Jonny, being a wealthy, entitled lily-white, dude knew there was no goddamned way that he could say a word on the subject and curled up into a self-conscious pretzel, to Dévyan’s conspicuous amusement.
Hack loved hearing about Jonny’s anguish and wrote this Cold War espionage thriller to immortalize it. It sold well in Berkeley.
Hack went to see a screening of the sci-fi classic The Search for Spock and was especially interested when the titular Vulcan (who had been left for dead on the planet Genesis and had been regenerated, aging at a rapid rate) had hit his teenage years and was going through Pon Farr for the first time, which is basically when the pointy-eared aliens are in heat. Hack was excited because as luck would have it, the gorgeous female Vulcan Saavik was onhand to lead Spock into manhood (or in this case, Vulcanhood) and with all Hack had heard about Pon Farr, he was expecting to see some violent and intense extraterrestrial banging.
Instead, Saavik gave him what amounted to a timid and disinterested hand job, which apparently did the trick because beta Spock immediately returned to the lethargic state that he was in throughout the rest of the goddamned movie. Hack was prepared to march to the box office to demand his money back when he realized that this was the reconstituted Vulcan’s first sexual experience, and Hack thought back to when he popped his own cherry at the tender age of 8 that it amounted to a timid and disinterested hand job too. So he decided that if the world was going to get the straight dope about the perversions experienced Vulcans indulged in when they lost their minds once every seven years, he’d have to write it himself. This book is that story and if you can get your hands on a copy, you’ll find that they’re into some intensely rough trade.