A Bed of Rosies

This was the final “Jonny M. Adventure” in which Jonny’s love interest is Hack’s friend Rosanna De Candia. It is really just a long list of the sexual fantasies Hack has had about Ms. De Candia over the years connected by a loose plot in which she and Jonny foil some foreign agents by beating the hell out of them. When the book came out, Ms. De Candia tracked Hack down and beat the hell out of him.

The Kiss of Death

When someone walked in on Hack in the bathroom passionately kissing his own reflection in the mirror, he claimed that he was researching a new novel and that this half-hearted effort which came out a few weeks later was the result. The reality is that Hack has been seen making out with his own reflection countless times, as early as 1949, so no one really believed him.

London After Dark

Hack wrote this Jonny M. adventure in a transparent attempt to rip off the success of the Twilight series. Jonny travels to London do do battle with a lot of super-hot vampires and winds up killing the queen vampire when he impales her with his tragically misshapen genitalia, which is somehow shaped like a cross.