Happy heavenly birthday to the great José Ferrer!
Cyrano’s Pug
Month: January 2024
Dr. Strangepug
Anhedonia
“Anhedonia,” meaning the inability to feel pleasure, was the working title during the shooting of Annie Hall. Pretty smart, huh?
Badges of the Sierra Madre
Whodunnit?
Hack wrote this novel as a companion piece to a mystery board game that he hoped would pay off his massive personal debts but it just resulted in a massive plagiarism lawsuit from Hasbro over their game Clue that put him so deeper in debt that he not only had to declare bankruptcy for the sixth time but spend his free hours as an anti-fluffer in porn films for stars whose Viagra-induced erections wouldn’t go down after four hours requiring Hack to spit on them and curse about how easy the younger generation had it until the stiffies withered.
Continue reading “Whodunnit?”The Pug of Casablanca
This supposedly “true” story of the Humphrey Bogart-Ingrid Bergman classic Casablanca was inspired by the time Hack desperately tried to hit on a drunken divorcée with three bratty kids when he was on a break from his job as the night janitor at the Van Nuys Shakey’s and thought it was a done deal until his cover artist Jonny M.’s pug Boris sat down next to them and she was so charmed by Boris that she forgot Hack existed. The pug talked her into giving up drinking that night and being a better mother to her kids while Hack made another of his countless failed suicide attempts by sticking his head in the pizza oven but only singeing his left ear to a crisp.