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This is a (relatively) true story about a young, free-thinking pizza delivery girl who has a torrid affair with an aging lothario after he tips twenty dollars on a $14.50 order. Hack really was the aging lothario in the novel but unlike the hottie depicted in the story, the real delivery girl not only had a skin condition and a limp but she turned out to be a dude.
Even so, Hack considers it to be one of the great love stories of his life.
Hack became obsessed with sending selfies of his withered genitalia to potential online lovers and wrote this self-indulgent fantasy in which he falls down a rabbit hole made up of a sub-culture of gorgeous women who actually enjoy dick pix. In the novel, they number in the thousands but according to Hack’s years of research on the subject, the real number is actually a hard zero.
Hack wrote this novel after his cover artist Jonny M. described his plans for the weekend, which were a literal playing out of the circumstances of the title. Hack changed the participants in the orgy to female TV newscasters he had crushes on and jumped out a third floor window immediately after finishing the manuscript. He ended up with only minor injuries while Jonny had to deal with a case of chlamydia.
When his cover artist Jonny M. complained that he had too many women to sexually satisfy in his life, Hack wrote this book in a fit of jealous rage. It’s not a bad read.
This is one of the few recent Hack Werker novels that didn’t depict Boris the pug on its cover. The sales were disastrous.
Hack wrote this book after someone on the social network called him a psychopath because of the content of his books.
A virgin begs an itinerant stranger to instruct her in the ways of anal sex.
“One of the most disgusting pieces of trash ever written.” – The Tolucan Times
This is Hack’s final book about the stern and passionate Madam Rosie. His friend Rosanna De Candia told him that she’d “slice him from neck to nuts” if he completed it, so the story stops abruptly on page 78 and the rest is filled out by a short story Hack wrote in 1959 about cross-dressers in the US Coast Guard. Strangely, no one seemed to notice.
Gorgeous prostitutes start vanishing from the city, interesting no one but the hero (who Hack had such little interest in as a character that he didn’t even give him a name) and his faithful dog. It turns out the prostitutes are being kept in a barge that will transport them to the private island of the evil warlord Vlad Werkowski (Hack’s father’s real name) where they will live out their lives as sex slaves. The prostitutes bide their time in the ship’s hull having lesbian sex until the tide turns so that they can begin their journey but just as it does, the hero and his dog creep onboard to beat the living daylights out of the crew and release the girls. The prostitutes thank him with a massive orgy.
It’s not as good as it sounds.
Hack was still so turned on by the beating his friend Rosanna De Candia gave him that inspired “Madam Rosie” that when he got out of the hospital, he started annoying her so that she would do it again. The result was this novel.