Hack’s chronicle of the sexual history of his cover artist Jonny M. The book was lauded by critics for its historical accuracy.
Virgin Love Slaves
Category: Beautiful Babes
The Thing That Made Love
Hack’s publisher John Kane got in legal hot water for putting Hack’s name on this novel by David V. Reed and trying to pass it off as a Hack Werker book in Europe. Critics saw through the rouse because of the comprehensible plot and vast majority of correctly spelled words, making it obvious that Hack had no part in writing it.
The City Slicker
A mysterious stranger from the north comes to a small town in the rural south and seduces all the beautiful young farmer’s daughters by introducing them to anal sex.
The Perfect Saturday
Hack tried taking LSD only once in his life and this book is a chronicle of everything he saw when he was high on it. After the novel came out, Hack’s pusher admitted that the LSD was just a Tic Tac that he sold to him for ten dollars, adding “that guy is so crazy that I’ve seen him be trippin’ after watching an episode of ‘Breaking Bad.'”
Murder at the Golden Globes
When Hack’s screen for the 1973 Women in Prison movie “Chained Sluts in Bondage” (called by Sight & Sound magazine “on the shortlist of the worst films ever made”) failed to receive a Golden Globe nomination, he exacted revenge with this novel about a scandalous murder taking place at the ceremony. The New Yorker said it was “on the shortlist of the worst books ever written.”
Jeebus Burbano: Latina Spy
A gorgeous Latina spy enlists the aide of a MAGA moron to help her destroy Trump’s stupid border wall. Before they get a chance to enact their plan, the stupid wall falls down after a strong wind.
Red State Stud
One of Hack’s biggest successes. An illiterate Trump troll captivates a big city libtard through his skill at anal sex. The libtard finally casts the stud aside when she realizes that even the best anal sex of her life isn’t worth the damage Trump is creating in the country. This is the only Hack Werker novel to ever suggest that anything is more important than anal sex.
Baby, It’s Cold Outside
Hack was contracted to write a light-hearted novelette inspired by the Frank Loesser song but he got carried away, penning a dark tragedy in which the guy viciously rapes the girl and she dies a few hours later. When he gets caught trying to dispose of the body, he is put on trial for murder and is executed. It’s become a holiday classic.
Reefer Slave
This was written in the brief period that Hack thought if he dealt reefer, women would be willing to sleep with him if they couldn’t come up with money. He failed when A> he wound up smoking most of the reefer himself and B> his clients quickly found out that he was a wuss and if they so much as looked at him sternly, he’d give them everything he had for free.
Happy Deathday
Hack wrote this as a birthday present to his cover artist Jonny M., who Hack has long said he wished was dead. When Jonny’s pug Boris saw the cover, he bit Hack through the seat of his pants; chomping off a large section of his left butt cheek.