Category: Beautiful Babes

Me Too

When he first heard about the Me Too movement, Hack was horrified because he had a long history of masturbating in front of women for years. So he wrote this book in support of the crusade in the hopes that its leaders wouldn’t put him to death when they took over. His fear turned out to be for naught because his genitalia is so tiny that none of the women realized that he was playing with himself in their presence.

The Boob Cup

This was one of Hack’s biggest successes, inspired by his friend Glenn Simon and his unnatural attachment to a cup shaped like a woman’s mammary gland. When an actual woman tries to come between Glenn and the cup, she quickly realizes that the novelty crockery has erotic powers that work to her benefit as well as his.

Hack has always been known for the power of the sex scenes in his books, but the ones in this are absolutely mind-blowing.

Escape from Hell

When Hack learned that his cover artist Jonny M. was friends with a married lesbian couple who had a YouTube vlog about lesbian issues, Hack nearly lost his mind and immediately wrote this erotic thriller about two insatiable nymphomaniacs who are only interested in having threesomes with themselves and some well-hung dude which they would film and post on YouTube. Only after the book was published did Hack bother watching the vlog and realize that Jonny’s friends were actually a happily married couple who just made funny videos providing relationship advice based on their own experiences. He was inconsolable for months.

Finish Line of Death

When it appeared more and more like Actors’ Equity was working against the will of its members trying to destroy small theatre in Los Angeles, Hack wrote this last book on the theme to drive the final nail into the coffin. When it became obvious that AEA leadership was going to do what it wanted no matter what happened, Hack threw up his hands in frustration and went back to writing about anal sex.

Photochopped

When his cover artist Jonny M.friend and Hack’s celebrity crush Frances Fisher began appearing on the covers of Hack’s books, she was initially amused by it. She even sent Jonny an image she found on the Internet and dared Jonny to make a cover from it. Jonny took her up on the challenge and when Hack saw the cover, he had the complete novel written less than an hour later.

Timeshare

Immediately after completing his run as Shakespeare’s Richard III, his cover artist Jonny M. appeared in a new play written by his friend Steve B. Green called “Timeshare.” Once again, Hack was so impressed that he decided to write a sequel in novel form but instead of doing it with a classic in public domain like “Richard III,” he did it with Green’s original play without obtaining the rights. When Jonny saw the manuscript, he had a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital where he was contractually obligated to make the cover art for the book. Fortunately, it all ended well as Green loved what Hack did with his characters and the two collaborated on an opera based on Green’s play “Three Really Offensive Scenes about the Founding Fathers.”

Maximum Wage

Hack’s first book for the Pro99 campaign was such a success that he decided to include more actresses that he was infatuated with on the cover in an attempt to win their favor. For this book, he set his sites on famed Twitter pundit Lisa Glass (who he had already depicted on the cover of an earlier novel “Too Fat to Carry”). As was always the case when Hack used his literary output to hit on women out of his league, Ms. Glass found Hack to be a retched and unsettling character and asked him to leave her “the hell alone.” As usual, Hack refused to take no for an answer and featured her on more book covers than almost any other model.