The Bastard Son of Lee Marvin

Happy heavenly birthday to the great Lee Marvin!

The city of Pasadena, CA used to host an insane response to the staid and conservative Rose Parade with a free-for-all called the D0o Dah Parade which was populated by crazy groups each trying to outdo each other in outlandishness. One of the most outlandish was called The Bastard Sons of Lee Marvin, which was a group of precision marchers supposedly made up of the illegitimate offspring of Oscar winning actor Lee Marvin following a hearse carrying the corpse of their beloved father.

There is still a parade by that name in Pasadena but ever since corporate America got its hooks it in, it devolved into a shadow of its glorious past. Hack once attended the event in its heyday and awoke later that afternoon in a dumpster clutching the manuscript to this novel in his trembling hand.

Whodunnit?

Hack wrote this novel as a companion piece to a mystery board game that he hoped would pay off his massive personal debts but it just resulted in a massive plagiarism lawsuit from Hasbro over their game Clue that put him so deeper in debt that he not only had to declare bankruptcy for the sixth time but spend his free hours as an anti-fluffer in porn films for stars whose Viagra-induced erections wouldn’t go down after four hours requiring Hack to spit on them and curse about how easy the younger generation had it until the stiffies withered.

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