Yenta with a Gun

Hack wrote this novel about his friend Donna, a domineering Jewess who terrifies him. He was scared to death at her reaction when she read the book but was relieved when all she had to say about it was that it was the only thing he’s written with likable characters.

Devil Woman

Hack’s second wife claims that she wrote this novel about a manipulative sex-obsessed ne’er-do-well based on Hack and that he stole it and changed the gender of the main characters. The charge bears out when reading the final climatic scene between the hero and the “Devil Woman” in which he drives her out of the house by repeatedly mocking her tiny penis.

Black Widow

Hack claims that this novel is based on a real woman he knew who would murder any man after having sex with him once. His publisher John Kane has admitted that he knows the woman and that she’s been married for 30 years to the same man by whom she has three children and that Hack made up the lie to explain why he refused to have sex with her when, in reality, it was she who refused to have sex with him. It’s a pretty good book though, with a nice subplot about a lonely clown.

Crime of Passion

Hack hated his cover artist Jonny M.’s pug Winston so much that he paid a beautiful woman to pretend to fall in love with Jonny and say that she’d only have sex with him if he killed the pug. The plan backfired when she actually did fall in love with Jonny and while they were having sex for the first time, Winston jumped in Hack’s lap and took a large dump.