Hack got in an argument with his friend Rosanna De Candia which ended in her pummeling the living hell out of him. This turned Hack on more than he could say so he wrote this book from his hospital bed.
Madam Rosie
Category: Kinky
Black Leather Hoodlums
A motorcycle gang comprised on men in their fifties ascend up a local girls high school and introduce the Valedictorian to the wonders of anal intercourse on her 18th birthday. But a gorgeous student teacher spanks the defiance out of her and when she receives an acceptance letter to Harvard on graduation day, she thanks her guardian angel with a torrid weekend of violent lesbian sex. Very loosely based on the teenage years of Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
First-Time Hussy
When Hack formed yet another crush on a young woman who came into the Shakey’s where he works, he formulated an elaborate plan to win her affections by having some ne’er do wells associates of his pretend to kidnap her father so that he could rescue him, making her fall in love with with him. The scheme inevitably went wrong (as all of Hack’s schemes do) and the associates are serving a life sentence for the father’s murder while Hack once again was set free on a technicality. He wrote this book based on the experience and it’s not a bad read.
The Hotel Closet
In a period when Hack was in dire financial straits, he tried to make money as a gay prostitute. He quickly discovered that he was as sexually repellent to man as to women.
The Starlet was a Dude
Hack wrote this while nursing a broken heart over “a Hollywood starlet who enjoyed a brief vogue.” In the book, the starlet reveals to herself to be a man in drag after the hero (a thinly veiled depiction of Hack named “Hank Derker”) finally talks her out of her clothes for a night of violent anal sex. Hack refuses to say how much of the story was based on reality but his publisher John Kane (who was close friends with him at the time) insists that the book is an accurate depiction of what happened except that rather than being an up-and-coming film star, the “starlet” was actually a well-known drag queen and that Hack was probably the only person in Los Angeles who wasn’t aware that she was really a dude.
Reefer Whore
A fairly accurate account of when Hack’s reefer habit was at its worst and he became a gigolo to pay for it. When he started, he envisioned himself being put up by gorgeous millionairesses but his only clients turned out to be middle-class men who were desperate to hide their homosexuality from their wives. The novel became Hack’s biggest seller after Oprah included it in her monthly book club although since his publisher John Kane still owned the profits from the contract Hack originally signed with him, he didn’t see a penny. Ironically, he made more money as a gay hooker.
Sex Slaves of Sex Island
Hack swears up and down that this was a true story but it turned out to have the exact same plot as an old Linda Blair movie he watch on Cinemax once while he was high on reefer, so I kind of doubt it.
Father’s Day
Hack didn’t learn his lesson from his earlier novel “Mother’s Day” in this misguided sequel, which the court once again found in favor of ABC in its astonishing similarity to the series The Brady Bunch despite Hack’s continued insistence that he has never seen an episode of the show. He was forced to flee to South America and spent a year in hiding as a mercenary in Venezuela before the scandal blew over and he was able to return to the United States.
Fridays of Lust
“Werker’s most depraved work yet. A perverse collection of misspelled sexual scenarios strung together by a loose plot in which he is clearly working out issues from his disturbing upbringing. This ‘novel’ (and I use that word loosely) is nothing but a cry for help from a deeply twisted man.”
– The Tolucan Times
The Teacher Had Cramps
Hack was had a fear of women on their periods dating back to when his first wife would kick him squarely in the scrotum when she was experiencing hers so that he could live through the experience with her.