Chicks Dig Water
Category: Sports and Games
The Return of Jonny Knockout
This is a sequel to Hack’s boxing novel “Jonny Knockout.” Like all boxing sequels, it has exactly the same story as the original with a slightly different ending.
Nude Hula-Hooping
Hack saw a story on his local news about this teenage “trend” and he was shocked at repercussions to society, so he spent the next month hanging out in parks and playgrounds hula-hooping in the buff to research this book. It was only after its publication (and he had been put on the national register of sex offenders) that he realized that nobody was doing nude hula-hooping and that the station televised articles on similar made up “teenage trends” about once a week to scare paranoid parents into watching.
Roller Disco Fever
Hack wrote this after watching the cult classic “Roller Boogie” with Linda Blair.
Sadly, he watched it in 2010 so sales weren’t exactly through the roof.
The Show Must Go On
Hack’s friend Eddie Frierson (see Mayonnaise is Nonsense) is an actor famous for a one-man show he performs about 16th century baseball player Christy Mathewson. When Frierson snubbed his nose at the coronavirus scare and performed the play in Los Angeles, Hack wrote this novel in tribute.
Blood on the Ice
Hack’s friend Glenn T. Simon used to regale Hack with stories about his daring days as a semi-professional hockey player which Hack immortalized in this novel. After it was published, it came out that Simon was really nothing more than a waterboy who had to retire when players on his own team gave him a “wedgie” that pulverized both his testicles.
Running from the Mob
A beautiful young woman used to jog around Hack’s neighborhood and he decided to stalk her by running after her. He suffered a heart attack on his first attempt and wrote this book while in recovery.
The Fencing Queen
An historical novel about a female fencing master in the 18th century who would vanquish all comers and then anally violate them with her épée sword. When a handsome nobleman who she falls in love with challenges her to a match, she kicks his ass in fencing but turns the tables by letting him anally violate her. Not one of Hack’s best.
Jonny Knockout
Hack briefly considered a career as a boxer but only lasted one fight in which he was knocked out in the first round. He hallucinated the story of this novel while he was having brain surgery.
The Big Game
Hack wrote this to try and recoup his gambling losses on Super Bowl III. The book tanked and the mob broke both of his thumbs. Years later, Hack met Joe Namath and they both had a good laugh over it.