The website of the greatest pulp fiction writer who ever lived
Hack’s infrequent stabs at the sci-fi genre are surprisingly pretty good. This cover went into more detail than usual because a fan bought the book “Jonny’s Birthday,” the cover of has literally nothing to do with the contents and the guy tried to sue Hack for a billion dollars in damages. They settled on an autographed headshot and one of Hack’s used Kleenex (the guy collected celebrity used Kleenex).
This was written during an unfortunate period when Hack was convinced that women love man-buns. His own hair was too thin at that point to even attempt the look so he glued the carcass of a rat he dug out from behind a pizza oven to simulate it. Chicks turned out not to dig it.
Hack tried to make some quick money with this novelization of the Professor Morlock horror film franchise but it became a typical Hack Werker novel instead, with incoherent rants about his violent father and random scenes depicting anal sex. Morlock purists consider it among the best books in the series.
Hack wrote a couple of novelizations of the “Professor Morlock” horror film franchise for a few quick bucks and they’re pretty entertaining. As with all the “Morlocks,” the insane professor is obsessed with transplanting somebody’s brain into someone else’s cranium, with a few scares and some gratuitous nudity thrown in before he is gunned down just before he can make the first incision and sent back to hell. It was right up Hack’s alley.
Hack originally wrote this in 1958 as a conventional horror tale titled “The Mummy’s Curse” but when his cover artist Jonny M. told him of his affection for Bangles’ lead singer Susanna Hoffs, he rewrote it with Hoffs and Jonny as the lead characters (since Jonny always depicted himself in the role anyway). When Jonny posted his cover art on his Instagram account, he said said “it resulted in one of the highlights of my miserable life”:
This is a horror story where a pretty but sadistic blonde who delights in shooting off fireworks on the 4th of July in order to terrorize the animals in the neighborhood. The pets then band together to anally violate her and then feed on her flesh as a warning that anyone who shoots off fireworks without giving a thought that they’re scaring all the animals within hearing distance is a total a-hole.
This is the last of Hack’s “Harvey” trilogy in which the ghost of Harvey, the murderous six-foot tall invisible rodent, comes back from the dead in search of human blood and makes Elwood P. Dowd his mind slave. Dowd is placed in an asylum for the criminally insane as Harvey slaughters and then feeds on the population of the small town where Dowd lives until they are the only ones left. Harvey finally comes into the asylum with Dowd thinking that Harvey will free him, but it eats him instead.
Hack’s book “Attack of the Monday” sold so well that he wrote this sequel to try and capitalize on it. Unfortunately, as with no many of his books, he went off on a tangent so that the last two-thirds are a rant about how socialism is actually communism. Fortunately, there were still enough graphic sex scenes that his hardcore fans didn’t seem to mind.
Hack kept hearing from his friends who work 9-5 jobs how much they hate Mondays, which didn’t register to him because to Hack, “every day was a waking nightmare.” So he thought that Mondays were some kind of bizarre monster and he based this sci-fi book on the idea. It sold well enough that he wrote two sequels, so I guess it wasn’t that nuts after all.
When he heard that horror movie star Graham Skipper was hosting a “horror speakeasy,” Hack got so excited that he sat down and wrote this scary book about what he imagined would take place complete with chills, thrills and a murder mystery that a Hack Werker-like pulp fiction writer solves and is rewarded with an anal sex session with the sexiest female guest. What actually would up happening was that Hack got drunk beforehand, showed up at the wrong address and was brutally beaten by some drug dealers whose score he had walked in on.