Hack once again explore his favorite theme of a virgin wanting to have her first sexual experience with a dangerous stranger by engaging in angry anal sex.
T.G.I.F.
Month: May 2019
Memorial Slay
A demented serial killer shows up at a Memorial Day barbeque and proceeds to murder everyone in attendance. Hack wrote this after going to a similar function at the home of his publisher John Kane and violently attacking his host after being told that they only had turkey burgers.
The Fatal Fiddler
Hack attended a concert by a fiddle player named James Cleveland and became so hypnotized by the music that he showed up at Cleveland’s house that night for instructions on who Cleveland wanted him to kill. Hack wrote the outline for this book while he was waiting to be bailed out for that.
Virgin for Sale
Nobody really gets Hack’s obsession with virgins but as long as there’s a court order that keeps him 500 yards away from all schools and malt shops, I guess that there’s no harm in it.
The Three-Day Weekend
This novel is about a gorgeous woman who throws herself at Hack’s cover artist Jonny M. Based on a true story.
Rob Vestal: International Super Stud
When Hack was in especially dire straits he threw a contest where the winner would have his own Hack Werker novel written about him. Hack had a hard time with this because the guy was, in Hack’s words, “the only person I’ve ever met who’s creepier than I am.” He stuck to the bargain and completed this novel, which by all accounts is one of the most disturbing things he’s ever written.
Plotting Pinion’s Peril
Hack based the title character – a mean, semi-illiterate, violently abusive old man who everyone despised – on his own father Vlad, and took obvious delight in constructing scene after scene where the various character try to kill him. The old man finally meets his doom by being beaten to death by a Hack Werker-like pulp fiction writer in circumstances that eerily mirror Vlad’s actual murder (which has never been solved but which many Hack Werker biographer attribute to Hack himself). Whenever he is asked about this book, Hack merely responds with an enigmatic smile and says “the old bastard got what was coming to him.”
Pug Rescuer
When Hack heard that his cover artist Jonny M.’s pug Boris came from a Korean pug rescue, he invented this fanciful story where the rescue was an underground spy organization that sneaked the dogs out of the country because a powerful mob was selling them to a pharmaceutical giant for experimentation.
When that turned out to be exactly what happened, Boris tried to have Hack killed.
Horror Speakeasy
When he heard that horror movie star Graham Skipper was hosting a “horror speakeasy,” Hack got so excited that he sat down and wrote this scary book about what he imagined would take place complete with chills, thrills and a murder mystery that a Hack Werker-like pulp fiction writer solves and is rewarded with an anal sex session with the sexiest female guest. What actually would up happening was that Hack got drunk beforehand, showed up at the wrong address and was brutally beaten by some drug dealers whose score he had walked in on.
Mother’s Day
This story of an suburban housewife and mother who satisfies her obsession with anal sex once a year by hiring a notorious gigolo turned out to be a phenomenal success with Hack’s core readership of sex-starved perverts in Bible Belt states. Regrettably, he was sued by ABC for ripping off The Brady Bunch (a show he had never heard of). Hack had to sell one of his kidneys to pay off his legal fees.