The website of the greatest pulp fiction writer who ever lived
Hack was on a deadline and he was just finishing up a new book in honor of a beloved celebrity’s birthday, but then he realized that the celebrity’s birthday isn’t actually for two weeks, so he quickly crapped this out for Paul Bunyan Day. Then he realized that he screwed up again and that Paul Bunyan Day actually falls on the beloved celebrity’s birthday and NOT today, so he’s in back getting drunk and this is all we have to offer you. Happy Paul Bunyan Day!!!
Happy birthday to the great Ann-Margret!!!
We don’t have a whole lot going on in our lives so when Ann-Margret “likes” one of our Instagram posts, it’s kind of a big deal.
When Hack heard that his cover artist Jonny M. went to the park with his friend Snow Mercy and that their dogs Boris and Mochi were making out (with tongue), he sat down and wrote this rip-off of Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet with a tacked-on happy ending. It’s surprisingly adorable.
Happy National Banana Day!
A mysterious stranger from the north comes to a small town in the rural south and seduces all the beautiful young farmer’s daughters by introducing them to anal sex.
One of Hack’s biggest successes. An illiterate Trump troll captivates a big city libtard through his skill at anal sex. The libtard finally casts the stud aside when she realizes that even the best anal sex of her life isn’t worth the damage Trump is creating in the country. This is the only Hack Werker novel to ever suggest that anything is more important than anal sex.
Hack based this novel on his friend Eddie Frierson, who hails from Tennessee. For years, Frierson pretended to be illiterate to avoid having to read any of Hack’s books. The rouse was almost discovered when Hack learned that Frierson was actually a graduate of UCLA but when he found out that it was on a sports scholarship, Frierson’s inability to read seemed more plausible than ever.