
Around the Valley for 80 Bucks

The website of the greatest pulp fiction writer who ever lived


Hack’s favorite novel is Dashiell Hammet’s The Maltese Falcon, which contains a scene in which a thousand dollar bill goes missing, so detective Sam Spade performs a strip search on the femme fatale anti-heroine. The scene was excised from the famous 1941 film version starring Humphrey Bogart (when the notorious Production Code in effect at the time didn’t permit such onscreen shenanigans) but it’s included in the 1931 pre-code adaptation in which the luscious Bebe Daniels is the recipient of the humiliating frisk.
When Hack wrote this rip-off of the Hammet story, he included the pat-down, but he inexplicably made Jonny M. the target of it instead of the female lead (who is physically an exact double for Bebe Daniels). The result is disturbing, to say the least.

Happy heavenly birthday to the great Vincent Price!

Happy International Receptionists’ Day!

Happy Mothers Day to all who celebrate!

Jonny, Linda, Boris and Pussy get a thrilling surprise as they bid a fond farewell to the City of Light!

When Hack realized that today is William Shakespeare’s birthday, he thought the time was overdue for another of his adaptations of one of the Bard’s plays.
We begged him not to.


Hack happened to see an image of the classic Burgess Meredith Twilight Zone episode of the same title in a Google search, and he immediately began this ripoff novel without an idea for the story. Hack being Hack, it went downhill fast.

Happy Tolkien Reading Day!