Category: Dangerous Dudes

Boris The White

When Hack’s publisher John Kane heard the news reports about the death of Boris, he ran to the van that Hack lives in that’s parked in the parking lot of the North Hollywood Shakey’s, certain that it would mean the end of the Jonny & Boris saga. Hack told him to calm down, took the dog-eared copy of The Two Towers from under the passenger seat, and told him to come bac tomorrow.

The next day, Hack had this manuscript waiting for him. To everyone’s astonishment, it’s freakin’ awesome.

Burlap Face

When Jonny had dinner with Bro Joe and their friend Penny, Joe announced that from the restaurant he would be driving to a nearby mountain where he would hike to the top and sleep in a new contraption that he’d purchased which he described as “a mesh coffin.” This prompted Jonny to tease him that he would be murdered during the night by a maniac named Burlap Face. The narrative then took a turn and it was decided that it was JOE who was actually Burlap Face, and everybody laughed.

When Hack heard about it, he immediately wrote this gruesome erotic thriller based on the concept. Jonny threatened to sue him for plagiarism until he found out that the character based on his college-aged self lost his virginity to Conan the Barbarian-era Sandahl Bergman, so he signed off on it.