Category: Religion

Bad Sabbath

Hack’s cover artist Jonny M. was walking his pug Boris around their neighborhood one Sunday and they struck up a conversation with a nice fellow who was volunteering to help with parking at a local church. Jonny told Hack about it and a half hour later, he had cranked this thing out.

Feast of the Ass

The Feast of the Ass was a Christian feast during medieval times, which was mainly celebrated in France. It celebrated all of the donkeys of the Bible, especially the one that was believed to have brought Jesus and his family into Egypt after Jesus’ birth, during what is known as the Flight into Egypt. When Hack heard that there was a Christian ritual called “Feast of the Ass,” he immediately assumed that it was a tribute to anilingus and wrote this novel in tribute to it.

After giving the book an objective read, you can definitely see the benefits of bringing Hack’s version of the celebration back into the holiday roster.

In the Year 2025

Hack was dining with some acquaintances (he doesn’t really have friends) and he commented that the Zager & Evans’ 1969 apocalyptic folk song In the Year 2525 could just as easily apply to the shit show we’re entering into in 2025. He was then shocked to be told that neither of his companions had heard of the song so he assumed that he hallucinated it during one of drunken binges and wrote this rip-off novel as if it was his creation, even including a CD of him croaking the song and including it with the book.

Zager & Evans inevitably sued Hack for plagiarism as soon as the novel hit bookstores and he now faces 2025 on the verge of declaring bankruptcy for the sixth time. Happy new year!

Continue reading “In the Year 2025”

Rim to Rim

When Hack’s cover artist Jonny M.’s brother Joe (an outdoorsman who serves as the inspiration for the Junior Ranger books) told Hack that he was “doing the Grand Canyon rim to rim,” it set Hack’s imagination on fire. All Joe meant was that he would be hiking from the south to north rim of the canyon (or the north to south rim, I didn’t care enough to confirm which one) but, Hack being Hack, he thought “rim to rim” meant some kind of deviant sexual practice. So he wrote this book, getting around the wholesome business model of Boys Adventures by making Lucifer the sicko who leads Joe down the path of perversion and pretending the thing was actually a religious parable.

It sold like gangbusters in the Bible Belt and won an award from the Catholic Legion of Decency.

Inappropriate

When Hack’s cover artist Jonny M. took his beloved friend Snow Mercy to see a play starring Jonny’s old pal Eddie Frierson (who Snow was lucky enough to have never met), Frierson saw them afterwards and told Snow that he felt like he already knew her through her many depictions in Jonny’s “inappropriate” social media posts. Hack was so delighted at Jonny being taken down in front of a hot chick like that that he wrote this novel to immortalize it.