Category: Kinky

Feast of the Ass

The Feast of the Ass was a Christian feast during medieval times, which was mainly celebrated in France. It celebrated all of the donkeys of the Bible, especially the one that was believed to have brought Jesus and his family into Egypt after Jesus’ birth, during what is known as the Flight into Egypt. When Hack heard that there was a Christian ritual called “Feast of the Ass,” he immediately assumed that it was a tribute to anilingus and wrote this novel in tribute to it.

After giving the book an objective read, you can definitely see the benefits of bringing Hack’s version of the celebration back into the holiday roster.

Unmentionable Thoughts

Today is the Festival of Unmentionable Thoughts, which is supposed to serve as a reminder of the importance of freedom of thought and the complexities of the human psyche. The Festival of Unmentionable Thoughts celebrates the inherent human capacity for introspection and contemplation.

When Hack heard about it, he wrote one of his most disgusting novels about the foul spectres that float in his head throughout the day. It’s one of his all-time best sellers.

Where No Man Has Cum Before

Hack went to see a screening of the sci-fi classic The Search for Spock and was especially interested when the titular Vulcan (who had been left for dead on the planet Genesis and had been regenerated, aging at a rapid rate) had hit his teenage years and was going through Pon Farr for the first time, which is basically when the pointy-eared aliens are in heat. Hack was excited because as luck would have it, the gorgeous female Vulcan Saavik was onhand to lead Spock into manhood (or in this case, Vulcanhood) and with all Hack had heard about Pon Farr, he was expecting to see some violent and intense extraterrestrial banging.

Instead, Saavik gave him what amounted to a timid and disinterested hand job, which apparently did the trick because beta Spock immediately returned to the lethargic state that he was in throughout the rest of the goddamned movie. Hack was prepared to march to the box office to demand his money back when he realized that this was the reconstituted Vulcan’s first sexual experience, and Hack thought back to when he popped his own cherry at the tender age of 8 that it amounted to a timid and disinterested hand job too. So he decided that if the world was going to get the straight dope about the perversions experienced Vulcans indulged in when they lost their minds once every seven years, he’d have to write it himself. This book is that story and if you can get your hands on a copy, you’ll find that they’re into some intensely rough trade.