Category: Kinky

Where No Man Has Cum Before

Hack went to see a screening of the sci-fi classic The Search for Spock and was especially interested when the titular Vulcan (who had been left for dead on the planet Genesis and had been regenerated, aging at a rapid rate) had hit his teenage years and was going through Pon Farr for the first time, which is basically when the pointy-eared aliens are in heat. Hack was excited because as luck would have it, the gorgeous female Vulcan Saavik was onhand to lead Spock into manhood (or in this case, Vulcanhood) and with all Hack had heard about Pon Farr, he was expecting to see some violent and intense extraterrestrial banging.

Instead, Saavik gave him what amounted to a timid and disinterested hand job, which apparently did the trick because beta Spock immediately returned to the lethargic state that he was in throughout the rest of the goddamned movie. Hack was prepared to march to the box office to demand his money back when he realized that this was the reconstituted Vulcan’s first sexual experience, and Hack thought back to when he popped his own cherry at the tender age of 8 that it amounted to a timid and disinterested hand job too. So he decided that if the world was going to get the straight dope about the perversions experienced Vulcans indulged in when they lost their minds once every seven years, he’d have to write it himself. This book is that story and if you can get your hands on a copy, you’ll find that they’re into some intensely rough trade.

Anal Hospital

When Hack and his cover artist Jonny M. were out with their friend Eddie one night, Jonny told them the true story about how he once played Thomas Jefferson in a play where the founding fathers got high and Jefferson anally violated John Adams. When Eddie countered that it sounded like something Hack wrote, Hack responded with this manuscript the next morning.

Rim to Rim

When Hack’s cover artist Jonny M.’s brother Joe (an outdoorsman who serves as the inspiration for the Junior Ranger books) told Hack that he was “doing the Grand Canyon rim to rim,” it set Hack’s imagination on fire. All Joe meant was that he would be hiking from the south to north rim of the canyon (or the north to south rim, I didn’t care enough to confirm which one) but, Hack being Hack, he thought “rim to rim” meant some kind of deviant sexual practice. So he wrote this book, getting around the wholesome business model of Boys Adventures by making Lucifer the sicko who leads Joe down the path of perversion and pretending the thing was actually a religious parable.

It sold like gangbusters in the Bible Belt and won an award from the Catholic Legion of Decency.