
Bed and Breakup

The website of the greatest pulp fiction writer who ever lived



When Jonny had dinner with Bro Joe and their friend Penny, Joe announced that from the restaurant he would be driving to a nearby mountain where he would hike to the top and sleep in a new contraption that he’d purchased which he described as “a mesh coffin.” This prompted Jonny to tease him that he would be murdered during the night by a maniac named Burlap Face. The narrative then took a turn and it was decided that it was JOE who was actually Burlap Face, and everybody laughed.
When Hack heard about it, he immediately wrote this gruesome erotic thriller based on the concept. Jonny threatened to sue him for plagiarism until he found out that the character based on his college-aged self lost his virginity to Conan the Barbarian-era Sandahl Bergman, so he signed off on it.


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