Category: Food

Silent But Deadly

Hack had been wanting to kill off the Jonny character like Conan Doyle did with Sherlock Holmes so he wrote this “locked room mystery” where Boris is force-fed beans until Jonny is asphyxiated by the pug’s flatulence. Unfortunately for Hack, his plot leaked while he was writing the thing and his fans were so outraged that (like Conan Doyle) he had to bring back his creation and Jonny was reanimated in the final chapter by hooking his scrotum up to a car battery and shocking his balls until he was alive again.

Always Check the Back

When his cover artist Jonny M. had a wonderful reunion with an old friend, Hack was consumed with jealousy because whenever he encountered someone from his past, they tried to kill him. So he wrote this novel out of revenge. It’s terrible.