Hypno-Boobs

Hack went to dinner with a platonic female friend who made the mistake of wearing a low-cut tank top, and Hack realized that he had been unknowingly staring at her cleavage while they talked. He couldn’t pin down how long his eyes were glued to her chest, but he figured it was somewhere between fifteen seconds and forty-five minutes, so he immediately went home and wrote this novel about how all men lose their rational mind at the glimpse of even the outline of a female mammary gland.

I’ll say this for the book; it’s medically accurate.

The Hindsight Zone

Hack got a huge thrill when a professor of classical theater dropped by the Shakey’s Pizza where Hack works as a night janitor and when he told the Ph.D. about the plot of this novel, the learned man responded that it was “a concept of Aeschylean density.”

Hack didn’t have the heart to tell him that he wrote it in honor of National Masturbation Day.