Category: Beautiful Babes

Dead Ringer

Everyone who’s been to a movie theater knows that Charlie Chaplin once entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest and came in third because they always project it as trivia on the screen to keep the audience from killing each other from boredom before the coming attractions start. Hack had one of his frequent mental breakdowns after being confronted by the tidbit yet again before a showing of Madame Web so for therapy, he wrote a novel around the story replacing Chaplin with Jonny M. and revolving it around a Russian plot to kill him and throw his hideously misshapen genitalia into a blender as a final ingredient to their formula for super atomic rocket fuel.

It made Hack feel much better.

Mountain Joe

Hack, Jonny M., and Bro Joe dined with their girly-girl friend Penelope last night, who was both fascinated and appalled as Joe held court with tales of his outdoorsman adventures. Penny likened Joe to Indiana Jones as he told of the many unprepared tourists he’d encountered on treacherous mountain trails who had plunged to their deaths, while a less-impressed Jonny compared him to the old codger Walter Huston played in Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

Hack soaked it all up and cranked out this adventure novel which casts Joe more as the grizzled old goat that Jonny described, although he does save the day when the over-their-heads trio brings the wrong kind of wine to pair with the salmon croquettes in their picnic basket and Mountain Joe comes to their rescue with with a bottle of rosé Cava that he had in his backpack.