Category: Fashion

Sharp-Dressed Sinners

Hack watched the vampire horror movie Sinners with Boris and Jonny and didn’t like what he saw, in part because the bloodsuckers were all hayseeds dressed in rags. Hack longed for the day when movie vampires wore white tie and tails and opera capes, so he wrote this rip-off of the Ryan Coogler flick and recast the vampires as European aristocracy wearing formalwear from circa 1930. It was Hack’s way of making brutally murdering someone by torturously sucking the fluids out of their body classy again.

The Green Dress

Hack was mystified when Jonny admitted that the nauseatingly upbeat Mary Tyler Moore was his first celebrity crush, so Jonny showed him the MTM episode You Try To Be a Nice Guy in which Mary befriends a hooker who designs an iconic green dress for her. As soon as Hack finished masburbating, he sat down and wrote this novel.

Happy heavenly birthday to the great Mary Tyler Moore!

Faded

Happy Levi Strauss Day! When Hack heard about this holiday. Hack became obsessed with the idea of Boris posing for a jeans ad that was a takeoff on the famous poster of the shirtless male model cradling a baby in his arms. Sometimes, that’s all you need.