Stress Balls
Babe: The Giant Ox Who Took Giant Dumps
Hack was on a deadline and he was just finishing up a new book in honor of a beloved celebrity’s birthday, but then he realized that the celebrity’s birthday isn’t actually for two weeks, so he quickly crapped this out for Paul Bunyan Day. Then he realized that he screwed up again and that Paul Bunyan Day actually falls on the beloved celebrity’s birthday and NOT today, so he’s in back getting drunk and this is all we have to offer you. Happy Paul Bunyan Day!!!
Titty Twister
Happy birthday to Helen Hunt!
The Man in the Tan Suit
Happy Obama Day!!!
No King Taco I
Happy heavenly birthday to the great Basil Rathbone. And fuck Trump.
Stupid Hats at the Alamo
When Hack heard that his cover artist Jonny M. went to San Antonio, Texas, and visited the Alamo, he was inspired to write this novel. It’s about as historically accurate as most other retellings of what happened there.
Best Buddies
Happy Best Friends Day!
Atomic Wedgie on Sex Beach
Jonny’s Big Adventure
Happy Drive-in Movie Day! Hack apologizes for nothing.
Hypno-Boobs
Hack went to dinner with a platonic female friend who made the mistake of wearing a low-cut tank top, and Hack realized that he had been unknowingly staring at her cleavage while they talked. He couldn’t pin down how long his eyes were glued to her chest, but he figured it was somewhere between fifteen seconds and forty-five minutes, so he immediately went home and wrote this novel about how all men lose their rational mind at the glimpse of even the outline of a female mammary gland.
I’ll say this for the book; it’s medically accurate.