Happy heavenly birthday to Dick York, the original Darrin Stevens on Bewitched, who never realized what a good deal he had. If Jonny had hooked up with Samantha, his many enemies would no longer be an issue.
Rewitched
Category: Horror
Burlap Face
When Jonny had dinner with Bro Joe and their friend Penny, Joe announced that from the restaurant he would be driving to a nearby mountain where he would hike to the top and sleep in a new contraption that he’d purchased which he described as “a mesh coffin.” This prompted Jonny to tease him that he would be murdered during the night by a maniac named Burlap Face. The narrative then took a turn and it was decided that it was JOE who was actually Burlap Face, and everybody laughed.
When Hack heard about it, he immediately wrote this gruesome erotic thriller based on the concept. Jonny threatened to sue him for plagiarism until he found out that the character based on his college-aged self lost his virginity to Conan the Barbarian-era Sandahl Bergman, so he signed off on it.
Squeal Like a Pug
The Exorcism Guy
We’re delighted that our buddy Jesse Merlin will be reprising his role as Father Barren in the Off-Broadway revival of the hilarious Exorcistic The Musical, opening on September 8th!
The Green-Eyed Monster
I’m Way Ahead of You
I Murdered a Corpse
Trilogy of Trash
Happy National Doll Day!
To Serve Assholes
Soylent Green Slurpee
Today is Free Slurpee Day (aka Seven-11 Day), the unofficial birthday of Seven-11 when you’ll supposedly get a free small Slurpee if you ask for one (although, as with all information you get on social media, you might want to double check that). Hack is limited to drinking filtered water and grain alcohol these days but when he heard about the holiday, it made him nostalgic for Slurpee Baseball Trading Cards they gave out in the 1970s, so he wrote this book. For some reason, there’s a chapter that comes out of nowhere about felching. Don’t Google it.