In the Year 2025

Hack was dining with some acquaintances (he doesn’t really have friends) and he commented that the Zager & Evans’ 1969 apocalyptic folk song In the Year 2525 could just as easily apply to the shit show we’re entering into in 2025. He was then shocked to be told that neither of his companions had heard of the song so he assumed that he hallucinated it during one of drunken binges and wrote this rip-off novel as if it was his creation, even including a CD of him croaking the song and including it with the book.

Zager & Evans inevitably sued Hack for plagiarism as soon as the novel hit bookstores and he now faces 2025 on the verge of declaring bankruptcy for the sixth time. Happy new year!

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Some of Them Were Vulcans

When Hack saw his cover artist Jonny M.’s new Christmas tree ornament depicting evil Spock with a beard from the Star Trek episode “Mirror, Mirror,” he was fascinated; especially when Jonny explained that the episode contained his favorite line “my operatives will avenge my death…and some of them are Vulcans.” The threat was directed at evil Mr. Sulu who appeared to shit his pants at the warning, making Hack wonder exactly what evil Spock’s Vulcan operatives were capable of.

Hack provided the answer with this novel. If you seen the “Mirror, Mirror” episode and imagined what evil Spock was referring to, be warned: what’s described in the book is much worse.

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My Elderly Ass

Hack’s cover artist Jonny M. and his pug Boris invited over Hack to watch the charming comedy/drama My Old Ass starring Maisy Stella and Aubrey Plaza about a young woman who meets up with her older self. Hack got drunk and fell asleep five minutes after the movie started (as always) but he did see enough to hallucinate this story about what teenage Jonny’s reaction would be if he beheld the embodiment of his own disappointing future standing in front of him.

Jonny read the novel and grudgingly admitted that Hack’s vision was accurate, but added that the kid he grew out of was something of a moron himself so he took the little shit’s despondent reaction to him with a grain of salt.