Hack had completely forgotten that his novel “Death at the Door” had already been published so he resubmitted the manuscript and it was published again under this title. It was just as bad as the first one.
Terror Behind the Door
Month: June 2019
Jonny Macho
Hack was having a drink with his cover artist Jonny M. and one of the gorgeous women Jonny inevitably has with him when a drunk started harassing the young lady. Jonny responded with his fists and when three friends of the drunk tried to come to his defense, they were all taken out on stretchers. As much as Hack despises Jonny, he was impressed by the display and wrote this novel about it.
Plan 45 from Outer Space
This is a really excellent sci-fi novel where two heroes come from the future to stop Donald Trump from destroying the planet. Hack was stoned out of his mind on reefer when he wrote it so he has no memory of it but he loves reading it. When he first finished it, he proclaimed “I have no idea who wrote this but I think he’s the greatest writer who ever lived!”
Stalag 45
A hero for the resistance, his devoted pug and a gorgeous blonde are taken captive by the fascists of the Trump administration and forced to commit bizarre sexual acts on each other. This was written during Trump’s first year in office and as bizarre as it is, the reality turned out to be much stranger.
Jonny & Boris Save the First Ammendment
This was another attempt by Hack to suck up to his favorite Twitter pundit Lisa Glass while ripping the Trump administration and settling a bet he lost to his cover artist Jonny M. and his pug Boris. When you take all that into account, it’s not a bad read.
The Jonny Squad
A crew of “left-wing pinkos” bring down the fascists of the Trump administration who want to deny women access o abortion with non-violent means. Considering that Hack’s core readership are from deep red states who love violence, this book sold pretty well. (All the graphic sex scenes helped.)
Village of the Hot Chicks
A hotshot pilot and his dog navigator are shot down in a village populated by gorgeous women where pro-Trump fascists have taken over and they must rescue them. Since this is a Hack Werker novel, the women thank them with an anal orgy. It becomes pretty implausible by then but up until that point, it’s kind of exciting.
Blood in the Sky
The most famous female balloonist in the word helps a dashing soldier of fortune save America by shooting down Donald Trump’s private air force. When they are successful, they celebrate with anal sex in the sky. (Hey, don’t blame me. I’m just recounting the story for you. If you don’t like it, go to Disney.com.)
Blood on the Ice
Hack’s friend Glenn T. Simon used to regale Hack with stories about his daring days as a semi-professional hockey player which Hack immortalized in this novel. After it was published, it came out that Simon was really nothing more than a waterboy who had to retire when players on his own team gave him a “wedgie” that pulverized both his testicles.