Month: November 2023

Murder at the Nudist Colony

Happy heavenly birthday to the great Burt Lancaster!

Honestly, Hack just wanted to write a book titled “Murder at the Nudist Colony” and when he found out Lancaster’s birthday coincided with its release date, he just had the cover artist redo the cover with the actor in his Elmer Gantry role as the victim. The story is more about Jonny the detective running around the nudie colony seducing the women who stay there.

Wordsmiths

The book opens:

“They say the pen is mightier than the sword. Well, I’ve never had my dick come close to being cut off by a pen.That’s a round about way of introducing you to my writer’s group. We met every Thursday in a little bar in noho near the strip club where the woman I am in love with works. I intend to marry her, once I can figure out how to get the judge to remove the restraining order.

There were seven of us in the group, all professional writers. I was the best and most accomplished writer, though JK and Stephen King would say otherwise. I hated them both and the feeling was mutual. I was always sure that one of them would be the one to try to cut off my dick, not Dave Barry. I thought he was a fruit who didn’t have the balls to try something like that, to be quite candid.

That’s ironic, because when this sorted little story ends, as you’ll see, he’ll have more balls in his hands than he started with.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. “