The book opens:
“They say the pen is mightier than the sword. Well, I’ve never had my dick come close to being cut off by a pen.That’s a round about way of introducing you to my writer’s group. We met every Thursday in a little bar in noho near the strip club where the woman I am in love with works. I intend to marry her, once I can figure out how to get the judge to remove the restraining order.
There were seven of us in the group, all professional writers. I was the best and most accomplished writer, though JK and Stephen King would say otherwise. I hated them both and the feeling was mutual. I was always sure that one of them would be the one to try to cut off my dick, not Dave Barry. I thought he was a fruit who didn’t have the balls to try something like that, to be quite candid.
That’s ironic, because when this sorted little story ends, as you’ll see, he’ll have more balls in his hands than he started with.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. “