The website of the greatest pulp fiction writer who ever lived
This was based on the time Hack visited hiss friends Lacie and Robin on Valentine’s Day. He somehow never realized that they were in a committed lesbian marriage and thought that they wanted him for a three-way. This is that humiliating story.
Hack’s take on women in prison. Butt Lust Magazine called it “inarguably the finest novel ever written.”
Hack’s friend Rosanna De Candia would become a regular fixture in his novels but this one was the first that he based on her. After she read it, she hit him over the head with a monkey wrench.
Hack wrote this to try and recoup his gambling losses on Super Bowl III. The book tanked and the mob broke both of his thumbs. Years later, Hack met Joe Namath and they both had a good laugh over it.
A fantasy in which Hack’s various celebrity crushes are trapped in his imagination and have to give in to his disgusting sexual desires. The chapter about TV star Betty White is particularly graphic.
In this second (and last) installment of the Lord Butt Stuffington saga, the pilot is taken captive behind enemy lines and subjected to BDSM torture by a Nazi dominatrix. When Allied soldiers show up to liberate him, he tells the to get lost.
Hack wrote this in the hopes of launching a movie series with horror film star Graham Skipper in the title role. The project fell apart when Skipper questioned the idea that a stiff-upper-lip British pilot would be so addicted to anal sex.
This was based on a strange story his cover artist Jonny M. told Hack about a beautiful woman who couldn’t decide between Jonny and his pug Boris. She ultimately picked Boris but Boris rejected her because after all, he’s a freaking dog.
Hack got the idea for this Junior Ranger book when he got drunk one night and insisted that he saw a sea monster swimming around in his publisher John Kane’s toilet. When Kane awoke the next morning and saw what Hack had actually left in the toilet, he said that a sea monster would have been far less frightening.
Hack has never made any secret of his being turned on by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, especially when he watches her take down Donald Trump with such ease. When he wrote this book that depicted her as a stern dominatrix, he was paid a visit by the Secret Service in which (in Hack’s words) a female agent “gave me the full Nancy Pelosi treatment. It was totally worth the two weeks that I spent in ICU.”