The website of the greatest pulp fiction writer who ever lived
Hack wrote this when he was hanging around the small theater across the street from the Shakey’s where he works as a janitor and he became obsessed with one of the actresses who performed there. In the book, the rising starlet gets hooked up with mobsters who come to her dressing room after the show and her life goes into a rapid descent until she winds up as the night janitor at the Shakey’s across the street from the theater that she used to perform at.
Hack’s publisher John Kane got in legal hot water for putting Hack’s name on this novel by David V. Reed and trying to pass it off as a Hack Werker book in Europe. Critics saw through the rouse because of the comprehensible plot and vast majority of correctly spelled words, making it obvious that Hack had no part in writing it.
A mysterious stranger from the north comes to a small town in the rural south and seduces all the beautiful young farmer’s daughters by introducing them to anal sex.
Hack tried taking LSD only once in his life and this book is a chronicle of everything he saw when he was high on it. After the novel came out, Hack’s pusher admitted that the LSD was just a Tic Tac that he sold to him for ten dollars, adding “that guy is so crazy that I’ve seen him be trippin’ after watching an episode of ‘Breaking Bad.'”
When Hack’s screen for the 1973 Women in Prison movie “Chained Sluts in Bondage” (called by Sight & Sound magazine “on the shortlist of the worst films ever made”) failed to receive a Golden Globe nomination, he exacted revenge with this novel about a scandalous murder taking place at the ceremony. The New Yorker said it was “on the shortlist of the worst books ever written.”
A gorgeous Latina spy enlists the aide of a MAGA moron to help her destroy Trump’s stupid border wall. Before they get a chance to enact their plan, the stupid wall falls down after a strong wind.
One of Hack’s biggest successes. An illiterate Trump troll captivates a big city libtard through his skill at anal sex. The libtard finally casts the stud aside when she realizes that even the best anal sex of her life isn’t worth the damage Trump is creating in the country. This is the only Hack Werker novel to ever suggest that anything is more important than anal sex.
Hack was contracted to write a light-hearted novelette inspired by the Frank Loesser song but he got carried away, penning a dark tragedy in which the guy viciously rapes the girl and she dies a few hours later. When he gets caught trying to dispose of the body, he is put on trial for murder and is executed. It’s become a holiday classic.
This was written in the brief period that Hack thought if he dealt reefer, women would be willing to sleep with him if they couldn’t come up with money. He failed when A> he wound up smoking most of the reefer himself and B> his clients quickly found out that he was a wuss and if they so much as looked at him sternly, he’d give them everything he had for free.