The website of the greatest pulp fiction writer who ever lived
A prostitution ring runs in secret out of a small, family-owned hotel in Torquay, Devon, England. The British Broadcasting Company sued publisher John Kane over an alleged likeness to one of their sitcoms with a similar setting and characters, which Kane responded to by telling the “Limey bastards” to “try and cross over the pond and find me” and immediately stashed all of his assets in a Cayman Islands account. The court case is still pending.
This sequel to “Doctor Mercy: Female Mad Scientist” has the insane distaff genius removing the brain of a Hack Werker-like writer of pulp fiction to see if he has the Covid-19 virus. He doesn’t.
Hack wrote this when a female friend told him via Zoom that she was getting through the isolation of the Coronavirus quarantine by having sex with a dress mannequin that she had strapped a cucumber to. When Hack offered to come over and provide the service himself, she turned him down saying that she would find it too degrading.
Hack wrote this when he overheard the actors at the 99-seat theater across the street from the Shakey’s where he works as a night time janitor complain bitterly that they were slaving away at minimum wage while the producer got rich. Hack thought this was hysterical because the producer was the daytime janitor at the same Shakey’s.
The all-true story of Hack’s cover artist Jonny M’s interactions with the fairer sex. This is one of Hack’s most accurate ventures into the field of historical fiction.
The cover art of its first edition printing met with universal mockery from the women who were depicted in it, so Hack insisted that a new cover be created for its 2024 reprint. It’s a far more accurate depiction of Jonny’s relationship with the ladies.
Hack wrote this on his last day of vacation from his job as night janitor at a Shakey’s pizza parlor. He was so depressed about it that he ended the novel by having the earth explode just so that he wouldn’t have to return to work.
A gorgeous woman appears to have murdered her male roommate and hires her ex-lover Detective Jonny to solve the case. It turns out that the roommate faked his own death and the pair pinned it on Jonny, who gets as far as having the noose placed over his head on the gallows when Hack suddenly lost interest in the story and spent the last twenty pages railing against his abusive father.
Hack’s fear of bikers is well documented but when a woman he lusted after got her motorcycle license, he tried sucking up to her by writing this novel where the bikers are the heroes. The first time he saw her after the book’s publication, she ran over his foot with her motorcycle which made him more afraid of them than ever.
Hack wrote this after having a dream where a character comes out of a movie screen at a drive-in and guns him down. It’s scientifically a lot more plausible than many of Hack’s book and not a bad read at that.