Dust Ruffle of Death
Category: Cadaver
Murder at the Book Store
Happy Book Lovers Day!
The Photo Shoot
Too Many Suspects
This is a boiler plate murder mystery that hack cranked out because he wanted to write something with a character who had a pencil-thin mustache.
Her Motive Was Lust
A gorgeous woman appears to have murdered her male roommate and hires her ex-lover Detective Jonny to solve the case. It turns out that the roommate faked his own death and the pair pinned it on Jonny, who gets as far as having the noose placed over his head on the gallows when Hack suddenly lost interest in the story and spent the last twenty pages railing against his abusive father.
The Client was Friendless
Hack wrote this while he was watching the finale of the TV show “Friends.” When he got bored halfway through, it devolved into a description of sexual fantasies he had with some of his middle school teachers. It was a smash hit in Arkansas.
Angel of Death
This was the last in Hack’s series of book about the brutal murder of his cover artist Jonny M. after a public outcry that he knock it the fuck off. He hasn’t published a book on that theme since but he continues to write them for therapeutic reasons.
A Death Worse Than Fate
When Nancy Kulp of The Beverly Hillybillies ran as a Democrat for Pennsylvania’s Ninth Congressional District in 1984, she asked costar Buddy Ebsen to support her. But Ebsen, an ultra-conservative Republican, deemed Kulp “too liberal” and went so far as to record a radio commercial for her Republican opponent. The ploy cost Kulp the election and she didn’t speak to Ebsen for several years, although she ultimately made peace with him. Hack, however, considered it a dick move for one friend to pull on another and he never forgave Ebsen, writing this novel to smear his once-beloved reputation.
Victimless Crime
Hack tried to combine two of his favorite fantasies: his cover artist Jonny M. being murdered and playing with his friend Harmony Sanchez’ enormous pair of boobs. When Sanchez (who is also a good friend of Jonny) read the book, she was so angry that she beat Hack’s ass with a belt, so at least he got to live out a third fantasy.
Murder By Jury
Hack enjoyed his series on the murder of his cover artist Jonny M. so much that he continued it despite receiving death threats from Jonny’s legions of admirers. This one’s an Agatha Christie rip-off where Jonny is killed at a party and the guests have to act as detective to figure out who did it. We’d tell you who the murderer is except that Hack (as usual) lost focus so the last twenty-five pages are an angry rant against his abusive father so he never reveals who the murderer is.