The website of the greatest pulp fiction writer who ever lived
Hack’s cover artist Jonny M.’s success with women has caused Hack to despise him, but it has inspired some of Hack’s best work. Hack wrote this after Jonny told him of the dozens of women who expected him to be with them sexually on Valentine’s Day.
Because of his obsession with Frances Fisher, Hack has written many sequels to her movies. This is one of the better ones in which Strawberry Alice, the stern brothel madam in “Unforgiven,” hooks up with a dashing outlaw and his loyal pug.
Hack wrote this novel after his cover artist Jonny M. described his plans for the weekend, which were a literal playing out of the circumstances of the title. Hack changed the participants in the orgy to female TV newscasters he had crushes on and jumped out a third floor window immediately after finishing the manuscript. He ended up with only minor injuries while Jonny had to deal with a case of chlamydia.
When his cover artist Jonny M. complained that he had too many women to sexually satisfy in his life, Hack wrote this book in a fit of jealous rage. It’s not a bad read.
Hack begged his producer John Kane for years to let him appear in the cheap porn flicks shot in Kane’s Van Nuys garage, but the most Kane would ever do is let Hack work the clap board before takes and occasionally serve as a fluffer. He turned those experiences into this highly fanciful novel in which a Catholic schoolgirl starts at the bottom of the porn industry and cuts a ruthless path to becoming the biggest star in the business. The character of Bruno Rathburn, the fabulously successful porn star whose genitals are so huge that any actress who performs in a sex scene with him runs the risk of being cut in half, was clearly based on Hack himself. He later admitted in interviews that being a porn star was his dream life and he deeply resented Kane for not allowing him to live it.
The story of the downfall of a young gay prostitute. Hack claims that it is total fiction but refuses to explain why he has the main character’s name tattooed on his taint.
Everyone told Hack that the Nazis came into power in 1933 and the Titanic sunk in 1912, but he was so obsessed with “Titanic” star Frances Fisher that he didn’t listen and wrote the book in a few hours. It’s a spirited read.
Hack wrote this book to suck up to actress Mara Marini, who he became obsessed with after seeing her play porn star Brandi Maxx in the NBS sitcom “Park & Recreation.” Ms. Marini placed a restraining order on him and got a court order to have all copies burned. The few remaining editions now sell on eBay for about $500.
A group of poor virgins are deflowered by some rich boys in fast cars. It ends in a drag race between the only girl not to die of syphilis in her father’s jalopy and the leader of the boys in his 1962 Covair. Just as the boy is about to cross the finish line, his car crashes in a fire ball and he is castrated by its stick shift.
Hack based this novel on an experience his cover artist Jonny M. And his pug Boris had when they stopped at Barstow for gas during a road trip and were seduced by a trio of sex-starved beauties. As soon as he completed the book, Hack made another of his many failed suicide attempts by sticking his head in the pizza oven of the Shakey’s restaurant where he works as a janitor. Since it was an electric oven, he realized after about three hours that it wouldn’t put him out of his misery and he went back to cleaning toilets.