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Two world-class art thieves attempt to steal the most famous painting in the world from the Louvre Museum in Paris but spend most of their time having anal sex. The Louvre would later use this novel as part of their training for new security guards.
This was one of Hack’s most controversial titles. The city’s mob kingpin has his goons kidnap a senior from the Van Nuys Boarding School for Hot Virgin Girls, ages 18 to 22 and play cards to see which of the town’s sexual deviants will take her virginity. Boris gets in the game to save her and just as he is on the verge of winning, he loses the last hand with four aces to a local perv’s royal flush (Hack doesn’t really understand poker). But just as the perv is about to deflower her, Boris takes out a semi-automatic and blows everyone at the table away. It’s a feel-good escapist piece of fluff.
This was the last in Hack’s series of book about the brutal murder of his cover artist Jonny M. after a public outcry that he knock it the fuck off. He hasn’t published a book on that theme since but he continues to write them for therapeutic reasons.
When Nancy Kulp of The Beverly Hillybillies ran as a Democrat for Pennsylvania’s Ninth Congressional District in 1984, she asked costar Buddy Ebsen to support her. But Ebsen, an ultra-conservative Republican, deemed Kulp “too liberal” and went so far as to record a radio commercial for her Republican opponent. The ploy cost Kulp the election and she didn’t speak to Ebsen for several years, although she ultimately made peace with him. Hack, however, considered it a dick move for one friend to pull on another and he never forgave Ebsen, writing this novel to smear his once-beloved reputation.
Hack tried to combine two of his favorite fantasies: his cover artist Jonny M. being murdered and playing with his friend Harmony Sanchez’ enormous pair of boobs. When Sanchez (who is also a good friend of Jonny) read the book, she was so angry that she beat Hack’s ass with a belt, so at least he got to live out a third fantasy.
Hack enjoyed his series on the murder of his cover artist Jonny M. so much that he continued it despite receiving death threats from Jonny’s legions of admirers. This one’s an Agatha Christie rip-off where Jonny is killed at a party and the guests have to act as detective to figure out who did it. We’d tell you who the murderer is except that Hack (as usual) lost focus so the last twenty-five pages are an angry rant against his abusive father so he never reveals who the murderer is.
Hack so enjoyed writing “A Perfect Crime” in which his cover artist Jonny M. is murdered by his female models that he did a male version. As with the first book, Jonny is such a beloved figure that sales were terrible. Even so, Hack maintains that this was one of his favorite books to write.
Hack has made no secret about openly despising his cover artist Jonny M., largely because he’s consumed with jealousy over Jonny’s easy way with women. When he heard that Jonny almost always had sex with his female models after completing a cover, Hack wrote this angry novel in which the models band together to murder Jonny. It backfired on Hack because the book tanked and the models were all so angry at how they were depicted in it that they sought solace in Jonny’s bed.
When Hack was given a lift to a party by his cover artist Jonny M., it was only as he got into the car that he realized that it was a birthday party for Jonny’s brother Joe, the basis for the “Junior Ranger” series. So Hack wrote this book on the drive over and gave it to Joe as a present.