The website of the greatest pulp fiction writer who ever lived
Hack’s novelization of the play “Harvey” was so successful that he wrote this sequel where, after the hero Elwood P. Dowd finally frees himself of being the savage rodent’s mind slave and destroys in by feeding it into a gigantic meat grinder, Harvey’s ghost comes back for revenge. After that, it plays out pretty much exactly like it did in the first book.
Hack kept hearing from his friends who work 9-5 jobs how much they hate Mondays, which didn’t register to him because to Hack, “every day was a waking nightmare.” So he thought that Mondays were some kind of bizarre monster and he based this sci-fi book on the idea. It sold well enough that he wrote two sequels, so I guess it wasn’t that nuts after all.
Hack had completely forgotten that his novel “Death at the Door” had already been published so he resubmitted the manuscript and it was published again under this title. It was just as bad as the first one.
This was another attempt by Hack to suck up to his favorite Twitter pundit Lisa Glass while ripping the Trump administration and settling a bet he lost to his cover artist Jonny M. and his pug Boris. When you take all that into account, it’s not a bad read.
A hotshot pilot and his dog navigator are shot down in a village populated by gorgeous women where pro-Trump fascists have taken over and they must rescue them. Since this is a Hack Werker novel, the women thank them with an anal orgy. It becomes pretty implausible by then but up until that point, it’s kind of exciting.
Nobody really gets Hack’s obsession with virgins but as long as there’s a court order that keeps him 500 yards away from all schools and malt shops, I guess that there’s no harm in it.
This was the first of Hack’s hugely successful “The Client Was A…” mystery series. A beautiful heiress is found murdered until she shows up at a detective’s office asking him to solve the crime, even through she has nothing to pay him with but anal sex. The exciting climax at the top of “the big Jesus statue in Brazil” is considered one of Hack’s most famous sequences.
This was intended to be a fiercely critical demonization of President Trump’s racist policies and behavior and was fiercely opposed by Hack’s publisher John Kane, who feared it would alienate him from his core readership in the Bible Belt where Trump maintains enormous popularity. It turned out to be much ado about nothing because the intolerant conduct Hack vilified was interpreted as heroic by the morons who read his books and it sold out at Klan meetings and MAGA rallies.
After Hack got out of the hospital following the beating his friend Sara gave him for writing “The Car Salesman,” he heard news that she had a much better experience with a female salesperson who Sara learned was a lesbian. Hack wrote this book about the experience which his publisher John Kane was expecting to be a salacious romp full of girl-on-girl sex. But Hack surprised him with this family-friendly tale of a happily married lesbian with two adopted children who sells a good car to a woman at a fair price.
It was not well-received by Hack’s core readership, but at least the misleading cover art did result in reasonably good sales in Bible Belt states.
When Hack’s friend Sara was still in the process of finding a new car to buy (as described in “The Car Max Killers”) she complained to Hack that every car salesman she encountered was more interested in hitting on her than selling her a car. That was all Hack needed to hear so he knocked out this sequel where every salesman got their wish.
After Sara read it, Hack spent the next two weeks in the hospital.