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For the third installment of the “Dangerous Gams” saga, Hack pitted detectives Jonny and Boris against each other as Snow Mercy played a dangerous game of cat and mouse. He painted himself in the corner at the end so he took the cop-out of making it all a dream, but there was enough graphic sex to make the fans happy.
The huge success of “Dangerous Gams” left Hack’s publisher John Kane scrambling for a sequel while interest was still hot. Hack being Hack, he crapped out this follow-up in about three hours that was even more lurid and sexually graphic than the first installment. The sales more than tripled although Hack’s friend Snow Mercy, the world famous dominatrix who served as the basis for the sultry heroine, beat Hack’s butt with a hairbrush when she saw the cover.
After the success of “The Maltese Pug,” Hack felt confident to return to the detective genre started by his heroes like Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler. He felt that the only element missing from their masterpieces to make them perfect was numerous depictions of graphic anal sex, which this book did its best to make up for.
The first book that prompted Hack to be a writer was Dashiell Hammett’s “The Maltese Falcon.” This is an unapologetic rip-off of the original with the detective Sam Spade renamed Claude Club. It’s a virtual line-by-line knockoff of the Hammett book save that the titular falcon was now a pug and the detective now had an insatiable desire for anal sex. Few critics noticed the similarities between the books and the ones who did said that Hack’s version was superior.
Hack wrote this novel in twenty minutes after watching the Jennifer Lopez music video “Booty” 50 times in a row.
Kate Micucci is an actress known for her appearances on such TV shows as “The Big Bang Theory,” “Scrubs” and “Raising Hope,” and for her work with Riki Lindhome as the musical duo Garfunkel & Oates (named after second bananas from other famous musical duos). Hack developed an obsession for her after hearing their comedy song “The Loophole” about some Catholic girls getting around sacrificing their virginity with their boyfriends by engaging in anal sex. Since anal sex is one of the most prominent themes in Hack’s works, he wrote this novel in which Ms. Micucci knocks out John Oates with her ukulele and assumes his identity, taking her down a trail that is all too familiar to anyone who has read Hack’s books. Mercifully (as is frequently the case in his stories), Hack lost focus and the last hundred pages are just an angry rant about his father.
The book sold well within the Bible Belt.
Hack wrote this while he was watching the finale of the TV show “Friends.” When he got bored halfway through, it devolved into a description of sexual fantasies he had with some of his middle school teachers. It was a smash hit in Arkansas.
This book was inspired by the famous “Seinfeld” episode “The Yada Yada” in which Elaine (played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus) conversationally edits a story about a sexual encounter with “yada yada…I never heard from him again.” After writing dozens of unanswered angry letters to the producers of “Seinfeld” demanding to know the details of what she “yada yadaed” over, Hack wrote his version of what happened which was just 139 pages of sordid sexual encounters between the character and a series of men, women and animals who inexplicably show up at her apartment. It won Hack a National Book Award.
Hack came to sexual maturity in an age when hotels still employed house detectives to ensure that couples who stayed under their roofs were married and not just there for Godless hanky panky. Since the vast majority of his sexual activity at the time was with syphilitic prostitutes, he carried a bogus marriage license to display at check-in which would typically result in his being beaten to a pulp in the alley behind the hotel by the house dick. This novel is a remembrance of those golden times.
Hack’s obsession with actress Frances Fisher caused him to watch the film “Titanic” over a hundred times and he became consumed with theory that the door that Rose floated to safety on at the end while Jack froze to death clinging to its side was easily big enough to hold Rose and Jack. While most of Hack’s books top out at about 175-200 pages, this one is over fifteen hundred pages long because it contains Hack’s elaborate theories about why the door couldn’t hold them both.