In a period when Hack was in dire financial straits, he tried to make money as a gay prostitute. He quickly discovered that he was as sexually repellent to man as to women.
The Hotel Closet
Category: Kinky
The Starlet was a Dude
Hack wrote this while nursing a broken heart over “a Hollywood starlet who enjoyed a brief vogue.” In the book, the starlet reveals to herself to be a man in drag after the hero (a thinly veiled depiction of Hack named “Hank Derker”) finally talks her out of her clothes for a night of violent anal sex. Hack refuses to say how much of the story was based on reality but his publisher John Kane (who was close friends with him at the time) insists that the book is an accurate depiction of what happened except that rather than being an up-and-coming film star, the “starlet” was actually a well-known drag queen and that Hack was probably the only person in Los Angeles who wasn’t aware that she was really a dude.
Reefer Whore
A fairly accurate account of when Hack’s reefer habit was at its worst and he became a gigolo to pay for it. When he started, he envisioned himself being put up by gorgeous millionairesses but his only clients turned out to be middle-class men who were desperate to hide their homosexuality from their wives. The novel became Hack’s biggest seller after Oprah included it in her monthly book club although since his publisher John Kane still owned the profits from the contract Hack originally signed with him, he didn’t see a penny. Ironically, he made more money as a gay hooker.
Sex Slaves of Sex Island
Hack swears up and down that this was a true story but it turned out to have the exact same plot as an old Linda Blair movie he watch on Cinemax once while he was high on reefer, so I kind of doubt it.
Father’s Day
Hack didn’t learn his lesson from his earlier novel “Mother’s Day” in this misguided sequel, which the court once again found in favor of ABC in its astonishing similarity to the series The Brady Bunch despite Hack’s continued insistence that he has never seen an episode of the show. He was forced to flee to South America and spent a year in hiding as a mercenary in Venezuela before the scandal blew over and he was able to return to the United States.
Fridays of Lust
“Werker’s most depraved work yet. A perverse collection of misspelled sexual scenarios strung together by a loose plot in which he is clearly working out issues from his disturbing upbringing. This ‘novel’ (and I use that word loosely) is nothing but a cry for help from a deeply twisted man.”
– The Tolucan Times
The Teacher Had Cramps
Hack was had a fear of women on their periods dating back to when his first wife would kick him squarely in the scrotum when she was having hers so that he could live through the experience with her.
Glory Hole
One night Hack stopped by a hole-in-the-wall tavern and quickly realized that it was a gay bar. This is the story of that night.
The Valentine’s Day Ball
This was one of Hack’s infrequent attempts at a conventional romantic love story. As usual, he lost interest halfway through so the last 100 pages are just an angry rant against his abusive father.
Celebrity Crush
A fantasy in which Hack’s various celebrity crushes are trapped in his imagination and have to give in to his disgusting sexual desires. The chapter about TV star Betty White is particularly graphic.