Category: Movies and Television

Maneater of Minnesota

Happy heavenly birthday to Ed Asner!

It’s well-documented that Hack’s cover artist Jonny M.’s first celebrity crush was sitcom legend Mary Tyler Moore. But Hack never told Jonny that he knows dozens of dudes who had the same affection for MTM, many of whom who were so despondent over her not returning their feelings (even though all of them only knew her through watching her TV show of Saturday night) that they jumped out a window rather than face life without her. Fortunately, Jonny gave Mary the boot before it came to that and took up a long-lasting fantasy relationship with Linda Ronstadt, but Hack wrote this scathing indictment of Mary Richards’ siren song in memory of those who weren’t so lucky.

My Elderly Ass

Hack’s cover artist Jonny M. and his pug Boris invited over Hack to watch the charming comedy/drama My Old Ass starring Maisy Stella and Aubrey Plaza about a young woman who meets up with her older self. Hack got drunk and fell asleep five minutes after the movie started (as always) but he did see enough to hallucinate this story about what teenage Jonny’s reaction would be if he beheld the embodiment of his own disappointing future standing in front of him.

Jonny read the novel and grudgingly admitted that Hack’s vision was accurate, but added that the kid he grew out of was something of a moron himself so he took the little shit’s despondent reaction to him with a grain of salt.