Category: Movies and Television

The Trench Coat Murders

Hack had been working on this book for decades and it’s unquestionably his masterpiece. Unfortunately both the Humphrey Bogart and Dashiell Hammett estates hit him with cease and desist orders as soon as it hit book stores, but it will make a great collectors item if you can get your hands on one of the few copies that hasn’t been burned by court order.

The Pervs of Skid Row

This was a “memory piece” from Hack’s teenage years when he and a girlfriend would taunt the bums in New York’s Bowery district by shamelessly making out in front of them. The bums finally had enough and surrounded the pair, let the girl go but made Hack stay and French kiss every one of them until he’d learned his lesson. They were surprised when he showed up for the next three weeks in a row for more lessons.

Fan Art

Hack’s dream was to start a writing movement and be inundated with loving fan art from his devoted followers, so he wrote this book to nudge them in that direction. He only received one drawing: a crude cartoon where his tiny penis was depicted as a hole punched in the piece of paper which infuriated him until it was purchased by a high-end art gallery for two thousand dollars.