Hack wrote this book after a young woman he was trying to hit on assumed that his cover artist Jonny M.’s pug Boris was actually Hack’s son because of their uncanny resemblance.
The Dog-Faced Boy
Category: Pug Lovers
Cult of the Snuffed Pug
Hack wrote this to get revenge on his cover artist Jonny M.’s pug Boris after the dog urinated in his vodka tonic. Boris had the ultimate retribution when he sued Hack for libel and collected a six-figure settlement.
Jonny & Boris of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police
This book was the result of Hack getting hammered and watching a bunch of Dudley Doo-Right cartoons with his cover artist Jonny M and his pug Boris. There’s a very disturbing sex scene between Boris and a Canadian moose who describes himself as a “power bottom.”
The Pug was in the Driver’s Seat
Hack wrote this after he took his van to get gas with his cover artist Jonny M.’s pug as a passenger. While he was filling up, he attempted to hit on a gorgeous woman at the next pump but she was only interested in playing with Boris. Hack tried to make Boris walk home after that but the gorgeous woman gave him a lift and no one knows what happened after that.
The Contiguous Man
Hack used to have brunch with a group of pathetic degenerates, one of whom fancied himself as having a remarkable way with words. One day while the yahoo was holding court, he used the word “contiguous” in conversation, which Hack admitted that he didn’t know the meaning of. When the dolt offered a condescending definition, Hack went home to look up the word and discovered to his delight that the idiot was completely wrong about what it meant. Hack was so thrilled about catching his nemesis in the mistake that he spent that night writing this murder mystery to immortalize it, a copy of which he slipped in the idiot’s coffin when he died of a brain hemorrhage three years later.
The Pug with a Past
Hack has always been suspicious of his cover artist Jonny M.’s pug Boris and has spent thousands of dollars on private investigators to find out about the little dog’s history. The P.I.’s took his money but (as you’d expect with a dog) discovered nothing, so he tried to recover his losses with this book which invented a fanciful and scandalous past for the pug. Not for the last time, Boris sued Hack for libel and received a hefty settlement.
Trio of Lust
Hack based this novel on an experience his cover artist Jonny M. And his pug Boris had when they stopped at Barstow for gas during a road trip and were seduced by a trio of sex-starved beauties. As soon as he completed the book, Hack made another of his many failed suicide attempts by sticking his head in the pizza oven of the Shakey’s restaurant where he works as a janitor. Since it was an electric oven, he realized after about three hours that it wouldn’t put him out of his misery and he went back to cleaning toilets.
Handsome Heroes of Danger Island
A devilishly handsome soldier of fortune and his dog save a beautiful blonde from a fate worse than death at the hands of local mercenaries, only to subject her to a fate worse than death after they free her.
Shine Box
Hack wrote this book after his cover artist Jonny M.’s pug Boris beat him senseless because of his abusive treatment towards a young boy who was shining his shoes at Union Station. He intended it to be a defense of his behavior but he came off so badly in the tome that Boris beat him up again.
The First Deadly Sin
This was based on one of Hack’s many efforts to bring down his cover artist Jonny M.’s pug Boris. He hired a gorgeous prostitute to promise to have sex with Jonny if he would betray Boris in an assassination attempt Hack had set up. Jonny refused to betray the pug but the prostitute had sex with him anyway, and Hack wound up shooting his own toe off when they conned him into believing that the scheme would go off as planned.