His Love Child

When he heard that his cover artist Jonny M. had two “love children” named Jonikwa and Jon Jr. whose mother was constantly hounding him for her monthly child support checks, Hack was so delighted that he sat down and wrote this book to publicly embarrass Jonny. As it always happens when Hack plots to ruin someone, the plot backfired horribly because the book was a bestseller and Jonny successfully sued him for libel so that he was able to set up trust funds for the kids and never had to write a check again.

Confessions of a Pulp Art Model

Hack makes a point of dropping by whenever his cover artist Jonny M. is creating new cover art so that he can hit on the models, always with humiliatingly unsuccessful results. He wrote this story where a model is thrown out of her home and seeks refuge in the arms of a Hack Werker-like pulp fiction writer which Hack swears is based on a true story but when he is pressed for the name of the model, he always pretends to have an epileptic seizure.

Doctor Mercy: Female Mad Scientist

When Hack’s friend, world famous dominatrix Snow Mercy (who is also an actual bona fide scientist) lectured him on the scientific realities of the Covid-19 virus, he was so impressed that he went home and crapped out this sci-fi novel. As with all of Hack’s book, he did no research whatsoever and the “science” is all made up BS, but at least it gave you something to do while you were social distancing during the pandemic.

Side Piece

Since Hack describes his characters so generically, his cover artist Jonny M. uses the people he or Hack know as the basis for them. When the model for this book complained bitterly of being depicted as a cuckold, Jonny included him in this adaptation of the painting “Nighthawks” to placate him.

Social Distancing

When Hack heard that everyone had to stay indoors because of the Covid-19 virus, he figured that meant that he could coerce beautiful young woman into shacking up in his bug-infested van. Instead, the few he was able to speak with carried six-foot poles to ensure that people were keeping their proper distance and if Hack tried to get any closer than that, they would crack him over the head with them.