The website of the greatest pulp fiction writer who ever lived
Hack tried taking LSD only once in his life and this book is a chronicle of everything he saw when he was high on it. After the novel came out, Hack’s pusher admitted that the LSD was just a Tic Tac that he sold to him for ten dollars, adding “that guy is so crazy that I’ve seen him be trippin’ after watching an episode of ‘Breaking Bad.'”
When Hack’s screen for the 1973 Women in Prison movie “Chained Sluts in Bondage” (called by Sight & Sound magazine “on the shortlist of the worst films ever made”) failed to receive a Golden Globe nomination, he exacted revenge with this novel about a scandalous murder taking place at the ceremony. The New Yorker said it was “on the shortlist of the worst books ever written.”
Hack met a voiceover actress who would eat the Shakey’s where he worked and he decided to try some sexual experimentation by hiring her to talk in cartoon voices while his then-girlfriend and he made love. It quickly became a fetish and he was unable to achieve an erection without hearing the voice of Betty Boop or Minnie Mouse. The actress and the girlfriend were creeped out by this development and walked out of his life, leaving him to gratify himself by masturbating to Saturday morning cartoons. Hack wasn’t able to overcome his addiction to that fetish until he discovered hardcore BDSM later that year.
Yet another attempt to suck up to his favorite Twitter pundit Lisa Glass. It was inspired by the one time that they met face-to-face when Hack happened to meet her on the sidewalk one day. As soon as she realized who he was, she ran like hell in the opposite direction.
A gorgeous Latina spy enlists the aide of a MAGA moron to help her destroy Trump’s stupid border wall. Before they get a chance to enact their plan, the stupid wall falls down after a strong wind.
One of Hack’s biggest successes. An illiterate Trump troll captivates a big city libtard through his skill at anal sex. The libtard finally casts the stud aside when she realizes that even the best anal sex of her life isn’t worth the damage Trump is creating in the country. This is the only Hack Werker novel to ever suggest that anything is more important than anal sex.
A gorgeous woman starts her year off by having sex with the most disgusting pervert on the face of the earth. It all goes downhill from there.
This is a run-of-the-mill Junior Ranger adventure where Ranger Joe saves some endangered leopards from poachers. There is one interesting scene where Joe has to dress up like a leopard and pretend to mate with one of the big cats, but you have to read the book to get the full impact.
Hack was contracted to write a light-hearted novelette inspired by the Frank Loesser song but he got carried away, penning a dark tragedy in which the guy viciously rapes the girl and she dies a few hours later. When he gets caught trying to dispose of the body, he is put on trial for murder and is executed. It’s become a holiday classic.
This was written in the brief period that Hack thought if he dealt reefer, women would be willing to sleep with him if they couldn’t come up with money. He failed when A> he wound up smoking most of the reefer himself and B> his clients quickly found out that he was a wuss and if they so much as looked at him sternly, he’d give them everything he had for free.