Carnal Cat Burglar
The Howell Baby Kidnapping
A Holiday Miracle
This novel was originally published under the title Christmas Orgy but when Hack was facing a deadline with an evangelical publishing outlet for a Christmas-themed book on spirituality, he changed the nymphomaniacs in the original who came over to trim Jonny’s tree only to find the doors and windows locked when they got there to angels taking the form of his favorite Hollywood celebrities and added a few Bible verses for legitimacy. Surprisingly, the original version was condemned by the Catholic Legion of Decency but the rewritten versions (with all its original debauchery left intact, including a gang bang sequence in the final chapter which was appalling even by Hack’s standards) won an award for Christian Values from the same organization.
12 Pissed Off Jurors
Steroid Pug
Happy birthday to Johnny Bench!
The Deprogrammer
Ohello Kitty
Since his series of Shakespearean adaptations was such a surprising success, Hack couldn’t rest until he did the final major tragedy, Othello. It’s honestly far from my favorite play but Boris thought this novelization represented Hack’s best work.
King Rear
Boris went to the vet only to be told (as usual) how goddamned fat he is. That led to this, Hack’s third Shakespearean adaptation, from a play which your humble narrator considers to be the greatest work of art ever created. I don’t think anyone will say the same about this novelization but at least it has enough of Hack’s signature anal sex scenes to hold the reader’s interest.
The Riled One
Blackmail to Santa
Happy Santa’s List Day! This is the day Saint Nick carves in stone who’s naughty and who’s nice, so take a tip from Hack, Jonny, Boris and the Jonny Pals and get yourself a little insurance. Trust us, Santa’s got a naughty side of his own.