Death By Avocado

Like all of you, Hack’s favorite holiday is National Avocado Day which takes place today. As part of the celebration, he wrote this thriller where the mob tries to do in Jonny and Boris by feeding them poisoned avocado. It’s destined to become a holiday classic.

Erectile Dysfunction of The Thin Man

Happy heavenly birthday to William Powell.

This book is a sequel to The Thin Man’s Wife but since Nick Charles was murdered at the end of that novel, Hack began this one with the classic writers cop-out that the previous story was all a dream. This is one of Hack’s most carefully researched novels since he used his own extensive personal experience with alcohol-related impotence in writing it. The result is a book that is honestly pretty uncomfortable to read, although the many anal sex scenes between Detective Jonny and Nora Charles are diverting.

Imaginary Lover

Hack’s back and Agnes has got him!

This was inspired by an incident when a famous actress was depicted as a character on the cover art of one of Hack’s novels. A reader was furious because he considered the actress to be his personal masturbatorial intellectual property and threatened Hack with violence if he so much as thought about her again.

The reader was apprehended by authorities and is now safely confined to Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane.