The Deprogrammer
Ohello Kitty
Since his series of Shakespearean adaptations was such a surprising success, Hack couldn’t rest until he did the final major tragedy, Othello. It’s honestly far from my favorite play but Boris thought this novelization represented Hack’s best work.
King Rear
Boris went to the vet only to be told (as usual) how goddamned fat he is. That led to this, Hack’s third Shakespearean adaptation, from a play which your humble narrator considers to be the greatest work of art ever created. I don’t think anyone will say the same about this novelization but at least it has enough of Hack’s signature anal sex scenes to hold the reader’s interest.
The Riled One
Blackmail to Santa
Happy Santa’s List Day! This is the day Saint Nick carves in stone who’s naughty and who’s nice, so take a tip from Hack, Jonny, Boris and the Jonny Pals and get yourself a little insurance. Trust us, Santa’s got a naughty side of his own.
Macboris
This was Hack’s second Shakespearean adaptation after Puglet, once again featuring his cover artist Jonny M.’s pug Boris in the title role. This novel proved to be as unlucky as the play it was based on because three times Hack sent Boris the only existing manuscript for approval and all three times the pug urinated on it until it shriveled into pulp. Boris swears it was an accident although his attorney did file a restraining order to try and stop its publication.
Tramp Stamp of the Apocalypse
The Big Bullshit Theory
Happy birthday to the great Kaley Cuoco!
The Big Boris
When Hack’s cover artist Jonny M posted a picture of his “Dude” Xmas ornament on Instagram, it was so popular that Hack immediately crapped out this rip-off novel of a Big Lebowski-like story that Hack changed just enough of that he thinks he won’t get sued (even though he ALWAYS does). The pug abides.
Hot Heads
Today is something called Make Your Own Head Day in which you’re supposed to make a likeness of your own head using any medium you want, such as pencils, charcoal, paint, clay, or paper mâché. Hack had a deadline approaching so he used the holiday as an inspiration to crap out this espionage novel. He would have done better to use the time to make a paper mâché model of his own head.